Unspoken Feelings Ch. 24

Chapter Twenty-Four: Repercussions

Eric glanced at Claudine nervously as they boarded the plane back to New Orleans together. “How are you?”

Claudine looked at her friend as if he were insane, “Really?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say or do at all lately,” Eric confessed as they came to their seats and flopped into them.

“That makes two of us,” Claudine admitted. “How’s Sookie?” She hoped for some levity.

“A mess,” Eric told her. “I didn’t want to come back to school.”

Claudine frowned, “You know I’m not mad at her or her family, right?”

“I know. I think they do too, but they’re still ashamed,” Eric confessed.

“Ashamed?”

“That they are related to a monster,” Eric answered.

“You can’t help who you’re related to,” Claudine pointed out.

“Don’t I know it,” Eric sighed. “My own aunt tried to con my siblings and me out of our inheritance. Of course, we’d never met her before that.”

Claudine chuckled, “My grandpa threatened to cut my dad out of his will if he didn’t send my brother, sister and me to his old academy in Maine. Dad almost got stripped from the will, but then Claudette went missing. Dad wanted us to have a fresh start, maybe he hoped to protect us from getting discouraged the longer time went by without finding her.”

“When your sister went missing, is that when you changed your name to Crane?” Eric asked.

 

“Yes. Claudette’s name was all over the papers with her picture. I guess Dad thought a different last name would keep the attention off of me,” Claudine replied distractedly, remembering those long days of fear and sadness. “I wish the coroner could have told us more about how she died and if she suffered. They still don’t even know for sure if she was dead before the car went into the water.”

Eric took Claudine’s hand and gave it a brief squeeze before placing his hand back on his lap. Even the most fleeting touch of consolation felt like a betrayal to Sookie. Claudine would be a sort of cousin to him in a few months. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea, or worse, seek him out for comfort in her time of difficulty.

That realization made Eric wonder if Claudine knew that Jason and Sookie were Fintan’s illegitimate grandchildren. Oh, I’m not opening that can of worms! He thought worriedly.

“It’s crazy though,” Claudine cleared her throat of some of the tightness that had built with her emotions. “Uncle Fintan was practically clinging to your fiancée’s grandmother. I wonder if they knew each other before?”

“Who knows?” Eric utilized all of his muscle control to keep his body from giving him away.

“I mean,” Claudine frowned now, “Jason does look an awful lot like our Uncle Dermot.” Claudine suddenly laughed. “Could you imagine if my Uncle Dermot had an affair with your fiancée’s grandmother?” She seemed to giggle to the point of near hysteria, but Eric figured it was from the emotional roller coaster they’d been on over Spring Break. “And now she’s making a play for Uncle Fintan because Uncle Dermot is married?”

“She might be interested in Fintan, but I don’t think she had an affair with Dermot,” Eric tried to keep the nervousness out of his laugh.

“I wish I could have been at your Easter gathering today,” Claudine chuckled, and Eric couldn’t bear to change the subject. His friend seemed so much more at ease with the scandalous discussion. “How’d Sookie’s family react to a strange man at the house?”

Eric groaned, “Let’s just say there was a lot of incredulous stares.”

In reality, Eric was surprised by how well everything went. It was hell, but no one was killed, and no one cried. In Eric’s opinion, that was an achievement.

Linda had shrieked in disbelief that the identity of her father had been a lie. Jason had shouted, “MY FUCKING LAST NAME IS BRIGANT!?” And Hadley had cackled and offered an unanswered high-five to her grandmother.

After the initial shock had worn off, an awkward getting-to-know-you phase began, and most of the conversations were about how good the food was. Linda left early with a surprisingly reluctant Hadley, and Jason had stormed off to his friend Hoyte’s. Sookie had gone back to Rosenfont Hall with Eric, Godric, and Pam, and Adele was left alone with Fintan. Later that evening, Eric had met Claudine at the airport for their return to school.

Eric let Claudine continue her story weaving, her suspicions becoming more audacious with every minute. By the time they landed in New Orleans, Eric was actually smiling in amusement at some of the theories Claudine had come up with. Some had actually been rather close to the truth.

Together, they pooled their money together for a cab back to campus, and Eric walked Claudine to her dorm.

“Thanks for being so nice to me on the plane,” Claudine sighed as she leaned heavily against the door of her building. “I know with everything Sookie went through over the week, it must have been rough on you too.”

“It was,” Eric agreed, “but we’ve made it this far, and we’ll make it all the way through the school year.”

“You both are crazy strong, you know?” Claudine told him.

“What do you mean?”

“I know about the assault back in February,” Claudine explained. “I know that she’s been bullied for years, and Uncle Fintan told the family about what she remembered from the day my sister’s murderer was killed. For her to get through all that and not beg you to stay home with her or quit school herself to follow you here? That’s some nerves of steel your lady has. And for you to just be stuck there seeing all this happen to her, and not be able to do anything to stop it… You guys are inhumanly strong.”

“Believe me,” Eric shook his head, “I’m a husk of a man right now. It does hurt. Sookie hurts, I hurt. All of this feels like walking through the desert and seeing the lights of civilization on the horizon. The only thing we can do is keep walking forward. If we fall apart now, we suffered all this time for nothing.”

“You guys are still amazing, and never let anyone tell you differently,” Claudine patted his shoulder and found her hand lingering there. Her eyes seemed to glaze over in deep thought as she involuntarily licked her lips.

“Claudine,” Eric could feel the weight of her hand increasing as she began to lean forward. “If you do what I think you’re going to do, we can’t be friends anymore.”

The young woman blinked, and Eric felt the pressure on his shoulder disappear, making him let out a relieved sigh.

“Sorry,” Claudine shook her head as if trying to dispel a flicker of dizziness. “I swear I’m not attracted to you, I just wish I had someone to hold me, you know?”

“I do,” Eric nodded, “but my Little Spoon is back in Bon Temps wishing the same thing. She’s the only one I’d want to hold.”

Claudine laughed, “I wouldn’t dream of stealing her Big Spoon.”

With that, Claudine waved goodbye and turned into her building. Eric let out another relieved huff and made his way to his own dorm. The halls were crowded with several students arriving back on campus, and Eric had to shove his way to his room.

“Hey, Alcide, you look like you’ve been back for a while,” Eric waved at his roommate.

“I came back early,” Alcide admitted.

“Oh yeah? What’s up?” Eric threw his backpack down and sat across from his friend. Alcide reached up and raked his fingers through his hair and tugged it. “Alcide? What the hell happened?”

“I have syphilis!” Alcide hissed.

“Wait… What?” Eric’s jaw slung down in horror.

“Debbie gave me syphilis,” Alcide told him. “She’s been fucking cheating on me, and now I have syphilis!”

“Stop saying syphilis!” Eric snapped. “Did you get tested? It’s really an infection? Did you get a shot of antibiotics?”

“Yes! I had this weird spot on my dick, and I panicked because Debbie’s been giving me doubts about how faithful she’s been. I went straight to Planned Parenthood and found out I have… it.”

“Did you talk to Debbie about it?” Eric asked next.

“She said I must’ve gotten it from a toilet seat,” Alcide rolled his eyes.

Eric scowled at the lame excuse, “Hey, man, it’s going to be okay. I mean, you have to get retested a few times to make sure it’s all gone, but it’ll be okay. Did they do a full workup and an AIDS test?”

“Yeah, I’m good on everything else. You seem to know an awful lot about STDs,” Alcide stared at his roommate.

“I had a scare a few years back. Let’s just say I could have turned into a hypochondriac with all the research I did. I was getting tested for months after,” Eric told him. “Now please tell me you broke up with that bitch?”

“I broke up with that bitch.”

“Finally, something good happened this week!” Eric raised his hands in relief.

“You and Sookie didn’t have a good visit?” Alcide asked in surprise.

“Alcide,” Eric stopped him, “there is no way you want to hear about my week. After February, you can have this one.”

“Now I’m just curious,” Alcide confessed.

“A story for another day. I have to call Sookie and let her know I’m back at school safely. Oh, by the way, if you want me to introduce you to a beautiful woman, I know one that’s available.”

“Does she think infections are hot?”

“No,” Eric frowned, “but she’s looking for a Big Spoon, and spooning is all you’re good for the next two or three months.”

Alcide moaned with embarrassment and anger, “I can’t believe she did this to me!”

“Listen,” Eric leaned back in his seat, “I didn’t want to put my nose in your business, but between the rumors I heard, and now this-”

“What rumors?” Alcide demanded.

“My friend Claudine used to be friends with Debbie,” Eric began again. “She decided not to hang out with her anymore because we figured out that Debbie was trying to set us up. That’s beside the point, though.” Eric waved off the detour of his explanation. “Claudine told me that Debbie’s been leaving parties with a group of people and that she’s looked pretty high at some of those parties.”

Alcide nodded slowly, “In a few months it won’t matter. After the scores she got on her midterms, there’s no way she’ll be back next year.”

“I really am sorry, Alcide,” Eric offered again, and his roommate nodded.

“It’s okay,” Alcide moped. “The more I think about it, the more I realize I was in love with a version of Debbie that has been gone for a long time. It’s hard, you know? When you look at someone you’ve known your whole life and realize that you’ve both changed so much. It’s really terrifying to realize you don’t even recognize each other.”

Eric nodded, “I guess it’s important not to look away from each other for too long. Talk and if you don’t share an interest, at least care enough about the other person to understand their interests.”

“That’s a big one,” Alcide agreed. “I don’t know when it was, but we stopped liking a lot of the same things. What do you and Sookie like to do?”

Eric smiled to himself as he thought of his fiancée, “She likes to draw and paint. I’ll usually sit in the room with her and read a book or something. Sometimes when I look away from what I’m doing and see the way her face crinkles when she’s concentrating, I can’t help but go over and distract her a little bit. She got me interested in fishing, and we often go land some catfish for her Gran to cook up for the family. I like taking her to do things she’s been putting off.”

“Like what?” Alcide asked, and Eric smiled at his enthusiasm.

“I like taking her shopping for clothes,” Eric laughed.

“Seriously?” Alcide raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

“Seriously,” Eric nodded and chuckled again. “I like seeing how and why Sookie chooses things. She picks things that will last and can be used for multiple things. She’s practical, but still manages to look sweet and very… Sookie, I guess.”

“You have given me a whole new set of relationship goals,” Alcide told him hollowly. In truth, he was terrified about starting all over in a relationship.

“I think the most important thing is being able to talk to one another, and more importantly, enjoying talking to each other,” Eric offered, becoming a bit self-conscious of Alcide’s idolizing gaze. He couldn’t hope to be this relationship expert Alcide was beginning to perceive him as. If he was completely honest with both of them, Eric felt like he was just extremely lucky. In his opinion, any of his friends could have met Sookie and fallen immediately in love with her.

{†}

Sookie shifted nervously from foot to foot as she stood in front of the foreboding door of the Brigant Estate. With some difficulty, she’d managed to utter her name to the gate intercom, and had been allowed onto the grounds. Now she was standing in front of the door, waiting for her grandfather to let her in.

 

“Sookie!” Fintan was still surprised as he opened the door and found his granddaughter waiting for him. “I’m amazed you came all the way out here.”

Sookie’s reply was to hand him a prepared letter and wait for him to read it.

Fintan accepted the envelope curiously but ignored it long enough to invite Sookie into the house. She followed him, gazing around at all the fantastic art and artifacts filling the colossal home as Fintan walked and read her letter.

Dear Fintan,

I would really like to give you the opportunity to get to know each other. In the past week and a half, I’ve seen my Gran regain her youth, and I know that’s because of you. Despite recent events and the fact that I do feel betrayed, I still love my Gran and want her to be happy. If you were serious about how you feel for her, and you want to see if your romance is still alive, I want you to know I support you both.

However, I want you to also know that I already had a grandfather. Earl Stackhouse was there for me up until the day he died. He loved me very much, and I loved him. I think Jason feels the exact same way. For that reason, he won’t be giving up his last name for yours. Soon I’ll be married and will take my husband’s name, but even if that weren’t the case, I would plan on remaining a Stackhouse as well.

So, with all that said, I don’t know exactly what you will be to me, but for now, I plan on calling you Fintan and thinking of you as my gran’s boyfriend and nothing more. I hope you can respect my stance on this subject.

Sincerely,

Sookie Stackhouse

Fintan chuckled as he finished reading his granddaughter’s letter. Although it pained him to be told he would not be called ‘grandfather,’ Fintan understood her hesitations and tried to find comfort that he may be able to change her mind in the future.

“I find your stances entirely reasonable,” Fintan assured her as he folded the letter and placed it in his inner breast pocket. “I hope you can understand why I haven’t broached the topic with my own family.”

Sookie shrugged. Fintan had to be in his sixties or seventies, and Sookie had a hard time understanding what was so hard about admitting to a few illegitimate children by that age.

“I’m sure you can tell by the estate that I come from money,” Fintan told her, trying not to sound like a braggart. “The reason I was put in charge of the estate is that I am the only brother who is unmarried and without children. We all thought it would give me a clear view of my decisions. Now, with this new development, my brothers and I might have to re-evaluate our situation.”

The young woman thought that sounded rather stupid, but didn’t give any indication about her feelings.

“I suppose that sounds more like an excuse than a reason,” Fintan laughed a bit to himself as they arrived in the sitting room and he gestured for his granddaughter to have a seat. “Maybe I’m just scared about what will happen once everyone knows the truth.”

Sookie understood that a lot better than his previous remark. She knew what it was like to be scared of people’s responses. After all, fear of how her brother and fiancé would react was what lead to Bill’s escape from Bon Temps. Fear of what Eric would do if he found out she was being bullied again kept her silent until it was inevitable to admit.

“I do promise to tell them once the news of Claudette isn’t so fresh,” Fintan assured her.

Reaching for her purse, Sookie took out a small notebook she’d correctly guessed that she would need. Even if she managed to squeak a word out in the foreign surroundings with the unfamiliar man, Sookie knew she’d never say aloud what she really wanted.

“I’m sure you know your family well enough to recognize when the time’s right. I know what it feels like to be uncertain about telling the truth, but I also know that the longer I hesitated, the worse it got. Some people have gotten hurt, myself included, by holding onto a secret out of fear.

Don’t let fear become the reason you’re holding back. Have faith in your relationships.”

Fintan read the message with another smile, “I promise.” The pair shared a brief smile before Fintan nudged the conversation along, “So, you wanted to get to know each other. Do you have any questions for me?”

Sookie took her paper once again and scribbled, “Tell me about how you and Gran met?”

The older man nodded, “How about we take a walk around the grounds. This is my father’s house after all. I wouldn’t want any of the servants to tell him before I get the chance.”

Sookie realized then that Fintan’s explanations had been just vague enough that he could make excuses for his statements. Even the replies that Sookie thought was very telling only made sense with the context of her written words.

This understanding gave Sookie pause in following Fintan out to the grounds, but she still allowed herself to be guided to the yard. Fintan was smiling the whole time, and Sookie thought it made him appear much younger than he was.

“Adele and I have known each other since we were ten years old,” Fintan began once they were undoubtedly alone. “She would come to visit her grandparents here in Monroe for the summers. She’d help on the farm they had. It was just a little shack on a large plot of land, and Addy took care of the animals. There was a good fishing hole near her farm. My brother and I would go catch all kinds of fish there. One day I saw Addy on our way to the lake. You wouldn’t believe how beautiful your grandmother was, Sookie.”

Sookie smiled as she saw Fintan’s expression change to one of romantic whimsy.

“Addy was pouring water into one of the troughs, and I thought it was amazing how easily she moved with those buckets. She wasn’t like any girl I’d seen before. Addy was strong and capable,” Fintan told his granddaughter. “We talked all day. I helped her with her chores, and she shared her fruit with me while we ate under the shade of the porch. Every day of every summer we were together for seven years. During the school year, we would write to each other every few weeks.

“As we got older though,” Fintan’s expression changed from fantasy to regret, “I realized what would happen if we were to marry. My father would insist that any children we had would attend his Alma Mater in Maine. Part of my reason for letting Addy go was because I’d lose my inheritance if we didn’t give in to my father’s demands. The real reason was that my father would have cornered me out of every business venture I would attempt. I wasn’t like Addy. I wasn’t strong and capable. I was a rich kid who didn’t know what a full day’s labor felt like. She would have ended up supporting me, and she deserved better than that.”

Sookie paused in their walk and quickly scribbled, “I think she still would have chosen you even if you were dirt poor.”

“I’m sure she would have,” Fintan agreed with that youthful smile. “That’s why I left the state to go to college. Dad was pleased, and Addy got the chance to move on from me. We didn’t see each other again for another four years. She’d come all the way to Monroe to see a doctor. Her and your grandfather hadn’t been able to have any children, and I think she got optimistic that maybe she was pregnant but wanted to be sure without Bon Temps knowing. We ran into each other in the town square and fell into our same, old pattern. We talked and talked. Eventually, she told me about their bad luck. We talked all evening, and I guess Addy felt so relieved to finally let it all out. We made love for the first time ever, and when I woke up the next morning; she was gone.”

“How many times did my Gran cheat on my grampa?” Sookie asked, trying not to look as sullen as she felt.

“Three times over the course of four years,” Fintan told her. “Two years after the first time, and almost another two years after the second. Last week she told me they were to thank me for giving her our children in the only way she knew how.”

“Why didn’t she just tell you?”

“I think she knew I would have fought for them. There was no DNA testing back then, and I don’t believe she could blatantly lie if someone demanded the truth out of her,” Fintan admitted. “Your gran has shouldered a fifty-year-old burden, but she didn’t do it out of shame. She did it because she understood what it would mean for me to claim your father and aunt.”

“Loss of your inheritance.”

Fintan nodded, “I know why Addy thought money meant more to me than her. I never proved otherwise. I think that her believing that is what made the burden easier for her to take.”

Sookie nodded as they came upon her car once again. “I hope you spend your time with her proving otherwise.”

“I promise,” Fintan nodded. “Next time, I want to learn all about you, Sookie.”

“Okay.”

{†}

“So, how’s Sookie doing?” Alcides asked as his roommate read through his most recent letter.

“Alright, I suppose, ” Eric frowned as he read on. “She is going ahead with discontinuing her medication, but slowly with the doctor’s instruction.”

“You don’t look too happy about that, ” Alcide observed.

“It feels far too soon to be trying to continue her recovery without medication. She can still hardly utter a word in front of strangers, ” Eric explained. “Then again, she never wanted to be on the medication, to begin with.”

“You think she’s using this as an excuse to go off her meds?”

Eric laughed, “You make it sound like she’s schizophrenic. If this is what Sookie wants to do, then I’ll support her. We’ve never had problems communicating before. If she loses her voice again, I’ll still love her just as much as always.”

Alcides shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t know how you two do it.”

Eric frowned, “Speaking of doing it.”

His roommate looked up in surprise, “Wow, you’ve never really brought up your sex life before!”

“Sookie and I have had sex once since she started speaking, ” Eric admitted. “It’s hard to tell if the medication is causing it or just all the bullshit happening around us lately.”

“A lot has been going on, ” Alcide agreed. “What about Christmas Break?”

Eric smiled a bit, “I guess it’s not the medication.”

“I bet once she gets out of that cast; she’ll show you just how bad she’s been wanting it, ” Alcide assured his friend. Eric laughed at the remark. “I gotta admit it, though, that’s the most normal reaction I’ve seen out of you this whole school year.”

“How do you mean?” Eric wondered.

With a shrug, Alcide confessed, “You’ve just been so together about the whole separation thing. It’s obvious that you care, but I would think your eyes still would have wandered this year even if you never cheated.”

An amused grin played at Eric’s lips, “Acknowledging and ogling are two different things. I can notice that a woman is attractive, but I wouldn’t stare.”

“Prettier than Sookie?” Alcides teased.

“I’m biased. For me, no woman is prettier than Sookie.”

“Dude, even when Debbie and I were still stupid in love, I thought other women were prettier, ” Alcide playfully accused.

“Then beauty isn’t what we’re talking about, I suppose. All I know is that ogling another woman feels like a betrayal. When I say she’s the most beautiful, I mean that there is no woman worth losing her over.”

Alcides nodded in understanding. To him, Debbie had never been on that level for him. He could have thought of several celebrities he’d have dumped his ex for.

“Anyway, ” Eric began anew, looking slightly nervous, “I was wondering if you might want to come to my wedding?”

“Really?” Alcides was surprised at being invited.

“Well, now that I don’t have to worry about Debbie coming, I don’t mind having you there so much.”

Alcides laughed more than he thought he would at Eric’s remark. “I’d be honored to come,” he managed to say around his chuckles.

“Good, maybe Quinn will agree to come if he knows someone other than our families will be there,” Eric sighed in relief.

“Does Sookie have any friends coming?” Alcide wondered.

“I believe one of her classmates she was friends with before the accident is coming and that friend’s cousin as well,” Eric replied thoughtfully

“Are you guys taking a limo to the airport?” Alcide teased.

“No, her brother is driving us, so we don’t have to leave my car there while we’re overseas,” Eric answered.

“Why don’t I drive you guys to the airport!” Alcide offered. “I’ll be going home to Shreveport anyway, and I’ll rattle you less than her brother for sure!” 

A look of relief overtook Eric’s face at the offer. “That would be excellent.”

As the days flitted by, Eric felt more and more anticipation for the end of the school year and the beginning of his new life. Sookie’s graduation was only a week and a half after he returned home and her eighteenth birthday followed soon after. Then, it was only two weeks until the wedding.

With a contented stretch, Eric climbed to his feet. “Want to meet up with Claudine with me?”

Ever since Claudine had almost lost her composure and kissed him, Eric hadn’t felt comfortable being alone with her. He had found excuses for Quinn to tag along. In a moment of desperation, Eric had invited Felipe, the kid who taught him the guitar, and endured a cringeworthy amount of time listening to the self-titled ladies man hitting on his friend all night

“Sure, ” Alcide agreed easily, he had not felt like going out since the evidence of Debbie’s infidelity had made itself known. “Where are we going?”

“We’re just meeting up at the library so I can help her with her math again. You wouldn’t believe how bad she sucks at math,” Eric laughed.

Alcide paused on his way to the door, “Eric, is something going on with Claudine?”

“What do you mean?” Eric asked sharply.

His roommate raised his eyebrows as he became even more suspicious. “Well, you don’t ever want to be alone with her anymore, and those couple weeks you two were hanging out before Spring Break, you didn’t seem so worried about having a chaperone.”

Sighing at the fact he’d been so obvious, Eric admitted, “When we got back on our flight, I walked Claudine to her dorm because it was dark and we both had a shitty week. While we were standing in front of the door, she had a look like she was going to kiss me. She was starting to lean toward me, and I snapped her out of it before she could do anything.”

“Did you tell Sookie about it?” Alcide asked and was surprised when Eric shook his head. “Why not?”

“Things are complicated between Sookie and Claudine. I don’t want to add anything to it,” Eric explained.

“Complicated how?” Alcide pressed.

There was a long pause as Eric tried to think of a way to explain everything that had happened. “It’s got a lot of personal information in it. I’d rather not talk about it without both of them saying it’s okay.”

Alcide deflated at the rejection, but he respected Eric’s stance. “Well, I’ll still go with you and chaperone.”

“Thanks, Alcide,” Eric sighed as they left their dorm and headed for the library.

On to Chapter Twenty-Five!