Unspoken Feelings Ch. 14

Chapter Fourteen: Don’t Look at Me Like That

Sookie looked nervously at her watch as she stood in the lobby which housed Eric’s private mailbox. What if he’s already come to pick up his mail? She worriedly glanced at the security camera that she could swear was zooming in on her. No, you just watch too many crime dramas, she told herself to calm down. She knew Eric had class until two, and she had managed to arrive a few minutes before his final period of the week ended.

What if he doesn’t come to check his mailbox until the evening? Sookie considered as she walked over to the payphone to call the house and push a few keys on the dial. I should just surprise him at his dorm, she thought as Gran picked up and she pressed the pound sign a couple times.

“Are you in New Orleans? Push once for yes, twice for no.” Gran told her. BEEP “I’m glad you got there safely. Give Eric my love! Have fun, Dear!” With that, Gran hung up, and Sookie was left to wait by herself.

Maybe I should at least sit outside, she reasoned.

Before Sookie could make up her mind on what to do, Eric appeared in the lobby, staring at his fiancée in disbelief.

There was a long pause before they closed the distance between one another, and Sookie felt two full months worth of tears explode from her face. I missed you so much, she hadn’t realized just how much until she was wrapped in his arms, and he unknowingly put pressure on the leopard print of bruises she had hidden beneath her clothes. At that moment, she didn’t care about the little nips of pain each small injury gave when he touched them. Eric’s arms were around her, and her tears were absorbing in his shirt. She could survive anything.

“How many stamps did Gran have to put on you to get you here?” Eric teased as he pulled away and kissed his Sookie deeply. “I missed you so much, Sookie,” he told her. “God, I love you. I love you,” he pulled her back into his arms and rested his chin on her head as they stood in the lobby like two very incongruous characters. “What’s wrong?” he asked when Sookie’s hands had yet to raise in even the simplest of greetings. When he looked at her crying eyes and red cheeks, he couldn’t help but feel that her tears were about far more than pent-up longing and relief. She looked like a person who finally had a boulder removed from her chest. She looked like a woman who had finally taken her first breath in two months. “Sookie?”

Sookie shook her head and buried her face against his chest. She didn’t want to ruin this moment. They were together, and that was all that mattered. He didn’t need to know about the bullying right now. It would have to come up at some point during their visit. She couldn’t fathom driving all this way and not ending up in bed together. He would see her bruises and then the questions would happen.

Choking on a fresh sob, Sookie realized that if she didn’t come clean about the bullying now, it would just ruin their intimacy later. I don’t want to tell him! She clung to the front of his shirt, wanting to avoid the conversation just a moment longer.

Eric felt her breathing change dramatically as her sobs intensified. Before he knew it, ragged gasps of air became nearly hysterical, and Sookie’s hold on him became one of weak desperation. He felt her weight in his arms grow heavier, and Eric quickly sat her on the ground.

“Sookie,” Eric placed his hand over her mouth, “hold your breath.” He felt her mouth suctioning to his hand. “Look at me,” he commanded, and finally caught her wide, panicking eyes, “hold your breath.” She sucked in a short breath, and Eric began counting down, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.” He pulled his hand away from her mouth this time, and she sucked in another breath. “Again, hold your breath.” He counted down for her again, and they repeated this several times before her breathing became less distressed.

By the time Sookie was back to soft, hiccuping sobs, Eric finally asked, “Sookie, what’s happening?” When her reply was to roll up her sleeves, Eric stared at the blotched bruises that ran up her forearms. “Sookie, who’s been hurting you?” he tried to keep the anger out of his voice, but even with his best efforts, it still came through.

“Everyone,” she responded despondently.

“What do you mean by everyone?” Eric asked in a tone that caused the hairs on the back of Sookie’s neck to stand on end. For a brief moment, she feared for those that bullied her.

“Anyone who feels like it,” she told him as she continued staring at the ground while her hands spoke for her.

“Oh, Sookie,” Eric pulled her into his arms carefully. “Why didn’t you mention anything in your letters?”

“What could you do?” She signed sadly.

Eric sat slowly on the floor at her question and dragged her into his lap. “I could have told you to deck those mother fuckers in the throat.” His hand began to stroke her hair in deliberately long pulls against her locks. He knew that she found gentle tugs of her hair soothing, and he’d put her to sleep several times over the summer with such tactics.

“What’s the point?” she moped as her eyes shut lazily from the careful pulling.

“The point is to show them that you’re done with their bullshit, Sookie,” Eric told her. “I know you’re an advocator for turning the other cheek, but it’s not working. Don’t you think it’s time to stop all this?”

“It’s only another six months.”

“But I don’t want to see bruises on my future wife,” Eric whispered. “I feel every one of these a hundred times over knowing I can’t stop them from happening.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be sorry, Sookie. I want you to be happy,” Eric moaned. “Doesn’t it hurt enough being apart? Why are you letting it hurt even more?” When she didn’t answer, Eric nuzzled his nose against her crown. “Whatever it is you think you deserve… You’re wrong, Sookie. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. No matter what you or anyone else thinks.”

“How do you know?”Sookie demanded weakly. Her expression was defeated and tired.

“Because you haven’t lived long enough to earn this much bad karma,” Eric smiled sadly. “And you’re too sweet to have done anything mean to anyone on purpose.”

“I killed my mom and dad,”Sookie told him, and it was the first time she’d ever expressed to another person how she felt about the car crash that took her parents and her voice. Some might have guessed about her guilt, but she had never confirmed their suspicions.

“Because you survived and they didn’t?” Eric asked.

“Dad was yelling at me. If he hadn’t been so mad, the car wouldn’t have crashed,” she told him, and Eric knew that she had wanted to make this confession to him. She had found signs he hadn’t taught her just so she could confess to him.

“Sookie, plenty of people have arguments while they’re driving. Did you dive forward and yank the steering wheel? Did you put your hands over his eyes? I seriously doubt it. Accidents are called accidents for a reason. They’re nobody’s fault, they’re just things that happen,” Eric told her. “My father stepped in front of a bus because his wife was dying. Even if no one knows if it was on purpose or not; it doesn’t mean I think my mom killed my father.”

Sookie stared at her fiancé in surprise. She hadn’t known how his father died; not really. Eric’s Aunt Maryanne had implied how the Northmans’ father had been killed, but Sookie had never really considered the woman’s accusation beyond that day.

“What I feel is that if your parents had a choice, they’d be happier knowing you lived instead of them,” Eric told her. “If you think you had some sort of debt to repay for surviving, I think it’s long past repaid.”

“I can’t just turn off how I feel,” Sookie tried to explain.

With a long sigh, Eric could only nod, “Maybe it’s something to try and work out with the specialist you’ll be seeing next week.” He looked at his fiancée carefully, “Can you do that for me? Can you talk to the therapist about this?”

“If you want me to,” Sookie agreed.

“Please.” He sighed as he began wiping the remnants of her tears away. “Have you eaten yet?” She shook her head. “There’s a good pizza place near campus. How does that sound?” She nodded in agreement, and they both rose from the floor to head out.

The walk out of the lobby was awkward as Eric felt his frustration with her become more overbearing. Why can’t you see you’re not a god damned punching bag!? He howled internally as they left Gran’s Station Wagon parked and walked to the nearby pizza parlor.

When the pair clambered into an available booth, Eric leaned against the wall and pulled Sookie in until she was sprawled across him. He knew that she wasn’t the biggest fan of public displays of affection, but he hadn’t seen her in nearly three months. He’d be damned if he didn’t keep her as close as possible for the time she could be with him.

After he’d placed their order, Eric shut his eyes and let himself get lost in the familiar sensation of Sookie’s body laying on his own.

“Are you nervous about seeing the specialist?” Eric asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence. His eyes opened to see her nodding. “Will you tell me about your appointments, or do you think you’d rather keep them to yourself?”

“I don’t know,” she answered.

“Do whatever is best for you, Sookie,” Eric encouraged. “I’ll support you however you need me to.”

“AH!” Sookie and Eric looked up to see a tall, tan and bald man standing over them. Eric knew him to be John Quinn, but Sookie stared wide-eyed in concern. “Is this your fiancée?” Quinn pointed at Sookie curiously.

“Do you think I’d have any other woman sprawled across me?” Eric asked with raised eyebrows. When Quinn glared at him, he sighed and introduced them. “Yes, this is Sookie. Sookie, this is Quinn. Quinn, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“It’s Friday night. I’m getting a pizza, and then I’m going to a Frat party. Wanna come?” He invited the couple. “Alcide and Debbie are coming too.”

“No,” Eric shook his head. “Sookie’s only here for the weekend. I just want to spend it with her.”

Quinn gave a small, frustrated snort. “Yeah, cool. Have fun.”

“If you put Alcide up for the weekend, I could?” Eric pointed out.

Quinn groaned but nodded, “Fine. Are you gonna party at all while you’re here?”

Eric thought for a moment before answering, “Maybe next year. Sookie will be living with me, and we’ll be able to go together.”

Quinn rolled his eyes, “C’mon, Sookie, take his balls out of your purse, and trust him to go out!”

Sookie thought about this a moment as she reached into her purse and took out a pen and paper. She quickly wrote a reply that Quinn leaned over to read while the pen danced across the paper.

“It’s been a couple months, but last time I checked, his balls were right where they’re supposed to be.” Reaching behind her back with her left hand, Sookie made Eric jump as she squeezed his groin. “Yup, still there.”

Quinn roared with laughter, “Okay, okay, so your fiancée isn’t as uptight as I thought she’d be.” Smiling fondly at Sookie, Quinn was disappointed when the cashier at the counter called out his order number. “I’ll put Alcide up for the night. You guys have a good weekend.”

The couple waved goodbye as Quinn went to grab his pizza and start his weekend.

“Sorry about that,” Eric mumbled as they were finally able to dig into their own dinner. “Quinn has been very intense about me enjoying my college experience.”

“Does being engaged make you feel like you’re missing out?” Sookie wrote with her right hand and ate with her left, but something about her expression seemed more curious than concerned.

Eric shook his head and smiled, “Not at all. Sometimes other students try to make me feel like it’s some sort of big deal, but I don’t personally get it. I can drink and have fun whenever I want, being engaged doesn’t stop that. The only thing being engaged prevents me from doing is having sex, and a single school year with infrequent sex is nothing.”

“I guess that’s true. I mean, you went last school year without any sex. At least you’ll be getting some when I come to visit or when you’re home on break,” Sookie realized. “Why don’t you go to any parties?”

Eric groaned, “I don’t know… The reason the other students drink doesn’t really fit my own intentions for it. It seems everyone drinks to black out or get so wasted they can’t find their way home. If it were about letting off steam, that would be one thing, but everyone seems more intent on competing over it.”

“Well, you already learned a lot about your drinking limits when you were living in Europe. They don’t have that advantage,” Sookie pointed out.

Her fiancé shook his head, “Even when I was learning my limits, it was nothing like this. It’s weird as hell, Sookie.”

“I’m not trying to tell you to get three sheets to the wind,”Sookie smirked. “But you should be able to go to a party if you want.”

“I guess,” Eric agreed hesitantly. “I just feel old or something.”

Sookie’s smirk turned into an eye roll. “Whatever you decide to do is up to you. I just want you to know that you don’t have to justify any of it to me. I want you to have fun in college. I don’t want you to have regrets.”

“Regrets?” Eric read. “Regretting that I didn’t kill more brain cells during college seems like a very low standard.” Sookie laughed at his remark and shoved the rest of her pizza into her mouth.

“So,” Eric began anew once they had finished their food, “we’re in New Orleans together for the weekend. What do you want to do?”

Sookie’s mouth curved in a surprisingly provocative smirk as she pointed at him suggestively.

Her fiancé practically shoved Sookie out of the booth as he threw down some money and hurried her toward the door. Sookie beamed as Eric’s hand on her wrist tugged her back to Gran’s old Station Wagon, and he pushed back the driver’s seat to get them on campus as quickly as possible.

When they arrived at the dorms, Eric glanced around, hoping not to be asked a million questions on the way upstairs. As he assessed that the coast was clear, Eric did his best to shield Sookie from view as they passed other students so as not to be disturbed. Thankfully, no one paid much mind to him, and the couple made it to Eric’s room without any hassle.

“We made it!” Eric sighed in relief as he shut and locked his door.

“Embarrassed of me?” Sookie teased.

“More like… Territorial of you,” Eric admitted. “You’re here, and I don’t want to share.” Sookie smiled as Eric leaned down to kiss her and begin tugging at her clothes. “I’m sorry I won’t be all that romantic. I’ve missed you so fucking much,” he murmured against her lips before pulling away to strip her shirt above her head. “And these,” he squeezed her breasts through her bra, “I’ve missed these a lot too.”

He quickly unhooked her bra and took a nipple into his mouth with a firm suckle. Sookie gasped and laced her fingers into his hair as she was pushed onto the small bed. Eric released the hardening bud to look at her, but the image was marred by the brown, yellow and green splotches along her body. Mostly the bruises were light, but there was one purple spot on her rib.

“What was this?” Eric asked, tracing his finger just outside the edge of the bruise.

“Don’t worry about it,”Sookie encouraged him as she tugged his hair and begged for another kiss.

Choosing to overlook his concerns, for the time being, Eric reached between them to begin undoing the buttons of her jeans. She raised her hips impatiently as he started to peel them off her legs, but the bruises on her knees made him let out a frustrated sigh.

“Please,” Eric sat back on his heels. “Sookie, please stop letting them do this to you. If I can’t convince you that you don’t deserve the punishment, fine, but seeing this hurts me. Seeing you beat up like this is killing me.” His hands lightly touched her legs, and he leaned forward to kiss the bruises on her knees. “Now I have to kiss every last one of these.”

He was true to his word, and Sookie began to wiggle impatiently as he found and kissed every single bruise on her body. By the time he was done, she was prepared to body slam every last student in Bon Temps for making her wait to get the loving for which she’d driven five hours.

Finally, she thought in relief as he pushed her legs open and placed his tongue against her womanhood. She let out a sigh of pleasure as his fingers came to assist his efforts, but she quickly recognized that she’d missed touching him too. With that realization, Sookie pushed him away and urged a stunned Eric to lay back on the bed.

“What are-” He immediately silenced as she crawled around until she was facing away from him and straddled his face. As her sex hovered over his mouth, he felt Sookie’s lips wrap around his cock. God bless the greatest number ever invented!

Eric moaned against her pussy as he hugged her bottom half closer to his face. While Sookie’s mouth worked up and down his length, Eric lapped at her slit hungrily as his hands kneaded and spread her bottom. When he felt her take him deep into her throat, the man had to resist the urge to thrust upward. Sookie had spent much of their summer together learning how to ease him deeper and deeper into her mouth, but it seemed their nearly three months of celibacy had interrupted her learning process.

Sookie realized with annoyance that she was having trouble opening her throat enough to take Eric as far as she’d managed before he’d left for school. No matter how much she tried to relax her jaw and throat, he kept striking her tonsils and refused to descend. Thoughts of her problem were becoming distant memories, however, because Eric’s mouth on her was becoming far more distracting.

Opting to suckle and lick rather than trying to sheath his entire cock, Sookie focused more of her attention on what was going on between her own legs. Eric’s mouth was aggressive as ever, something she’d come to learn as she grew more comfortable with sex. He’d tug at her labia with his teeth, suction down on her clit before assaulting it with flickers of his tongue, or pump his fingers deep and hard inside of her. All of this was preparation for the grand finale when he’d build up her frustrations so high that choosing a milder but consistent rhythm was all it took to send her plummeting into orgasm. Sookie wasn’t fooled; however, she could feel his cock between her lips as he became rougher. With every plunge of his fingers or every flicker of her clit, she felt his shaft give a throb in her mouth.

When the exchange grew heated, Sookie felt Eric begin to push her hips from his face. Before she could ask what was wrong, he’d pushed her onto her side and rolled her onto her back as he shoved her legs apart.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Eric told her as he settled between her legs.

“Gentle,”she reminded him as he began to push inside of her. Eric took a breath and nodded, having forgotten that she hadn’t had sex in a while and it wasn’t as easy to start back up for her as it was for him.

Layering his body over hers, Eric slowly nudged further inside, feeling her slick inner walls open and accept him. As she hugged herself to him, Eric kissed and licked her throat until he worked upward and found Sookie’s lips. While their tongues tangled together, Eric slowly worked his hips back and forth until Sookie was panting against his mouth.

“You’re so beautiful, Sookie,” Eric whispered as his own breathing became uneven, and his hips began to lose control. Sookie whimpered beneath him as he rammed into her. She could feel his desperation to be closer. She wanted him to stay with her forever, to never have to return to Bon Temps. “Fuck,” he ground out, “ah. I can’t-” The erratic motion of his thrusts triggered something in Sookie, and she felt her walls contract around Eric as he lost his control. The intensity and emotion in the air charged her own orgasm, and she gasped for air as she felt his cock spending inside of her. She welcomed every drop of his desire.

“Sorry,” Eric panted as he rolled them onto their sides. “I can go again in a bit,” he promised even as his hands went between them to stroke at the juncture of her legs. When Sookie flinched away, Eric removed his hand. “You came pretty hard then, too?” he asked proudly, and Sookie wanted to deny it just to wipe the smug look off his face. However, she could only nod. “I’m glad,” he leaned in to give her a softer kiss. “It’s been so long, I didn’t think I could go long enough to satisfy you during the first round.”

When she gave him a smile that said a lot more than agreement, Eric slipped out of bed to grab a notebook and pen. He gave them to Sookie and then slipped in behind her so that they rested on their left sides, and she could write freely. Her hand moved quickly on the page, and then she held up the book for him to see, “You came a lot.”

Eric snorted, “Yes, I did. You know I don’t like to jerk it.”

“You’d rather make a mess out of me,” she accused.

“Every time,” he agreed and hugged her tight. “Plus, I have a roommate now, so that makes it even less desirable to do.” Snuggling back against her fiancé, Sookie couldn’t help but agree that she liked when he made a mess out of her. “It’s still pretty early,” Eric whispered, “but you had a long drive. Do you want to sleep?”

Sookie wanted to protest, but she really was tired. Eric seemed to sense this, and he began combing his fingers through her hair and giving the ends soft tugs.

“We have all day tomorrow to spend together,” Eric assured her. “We can go to the French Quarter, and we’ll get some real food while we’re out.” As he went on telling her about the day they’d have tomorrow, he could feel her body growing heavier against him. More of her weight leaned against him, and he welcomed the feeling.

Eric lay in bed with Sookie for nearly a half an hour before he slipped out and reached for the phone.

“Hello?”Adele’s voice came over the phone.

“Hey, Gran, it’s Eric,” Eric greeted. “I just wanted to let you know that Sookie and I met up safely and that she’s here.”

“Oh, thank you, Dear,” Adele crooned at him, making the young man smile fondly. He couldn’t remember if Gran’s sweetness had always melted his heart, but he was pretty sure it did. “She called and let me know she was in New Orleans, but it’s good to know that she’s safe and with you.”

“She called?” Eric asked softly so as not to wake the sleeping woman in his bed.

“Yes, she would call at her pit stops and phone the house. She’d push a button to let me know it was her. When she got to New Orleans, I asked if she was there, and told her to push once for yes and twice for no,” Gran explained.

“Huh,” Eric frowned thoughtfully as he took this into consideration, “I only call her to wish her goodnight and tell her I love her. It drives Alcide up the wall.”

“I think it’s sweet. Sookie waits at the phone for your good nights,” Gran told him. “Well, I won’t keep you. Thank you again for letting me know that Sookie is safe. Call and tell me when she’s leaving on Sunday?”

“Yes, Gran,” Eric agreed easily. “I’ll call you as soon as I get back to my room from seeing her off.”

“Thank you. Good night,” Gran ended the call and Eric placed his phone back on the cradle.

As he climbed back into bed, Eric placed his hand on Sookie’s hip as he contemplated the difference a year would bring. With any luck, this time next year, they would be married and live together off campus. He’d come home to their apartment and be able to tell her about his day and read all about hers. Could she be able to speak it to me by then? He wondered with tentative optimism.

He hoped that therapy would help her. He prayed that it could make a difference. Even if the only time he heard her voice was while she slept, he welcomed the thought that someone could help her with her self-confidence. He hoped that someone could get it through her head that she wasn’t a burden or, especially, that she wasn’t responsible for the deaths of her parents. If only she’d believe the people who love her.

On to Chapter Fifteen!