Chapter Eight: How Does It Make You Feel?
So, today’s the day you’re going to be a pain in the ass, is it? Eric glared at his erection with annoyance and discomfort. He was going to have to jerk off again pretty soon and wasn’t looking forward to it. Unfortunately, with celibacy came persistent boners, and with nothing but his hand to relieve the tension, masturbation was the only option.
Unless Sookie’s ready to play, he thought mischievously and felt his cock strain that much harder as he climbed out of bed. A cold shower would have to do for today. It was Christmas Eve, and they had invited the Stackhouses for dinner with them. This meant he’d be running errands for Pam and Godric all day while they kept him a safe distance away from the kitchen.
Ha, ha, Eric can’t cook, he smiled to himself until the first blast of cold water hit his chest. In truth, he wasn’t quite the culinary failure his brother and sister presumed. When they weren’t home, the middle sibling cooked himself eggs or made himself some pasta. He wasn’t nearly as incompetent as they thought, he just purposefully got in their way so they wouldn’t want him anywhere near the kitchen.
Allowing a cold shower to remedy the situation between his legs, Eric made quick work of washing himself so he wouldn’t need to endure the frigid water too long. Even after the submersion, the threat of another boner remained eminent as Eric padded down to the kitchen. Luckily, the real cure to his problem was his sister’s sour expression as she thrust a shopping list into his face.
“This is everything we’re still missing. Go get it,” Pam ordered as the post-it was stuck to his forehead.
The list only consisted of fresh thyme, heavy whipping cream, and vanilla ice cream. Eric stared at it suspiciously a moment before giving Pam a speculative stare.
“You’re sure this is everything?” Eric asked, not trusting such a short list.
“Yes,” Pam snapped.
“You’re positive,” he pressed.
“I’m only going out once, Pam. If this isn’t everything, that’s your problem,” Eric warned as he headed for the door.
Pam scowled, “It’s everything. I checked three times!”
“Alright,” Eric smirked as he made the final stretch from the kitchen to the foyer. Suddenly, he thought that Sookie might want to join him, so he stopped and headed for the phone. Although seeing his girlfriend would undoubtedly ignite the battle he was fighting with his male extremity, he couldn’t bring himself to miss out on some private time with her.
“Hello?” Adele’s voice came over the phone.
“Hi, Mrs. Stackhouse. It’s Eric. Can you ask Sookie if she’d like to come with me to the store?” he asked.
“Certainly.” He heard the phone clank against the table and waited, listening to Adele’s distant voice. “She’d love to, Eric. She’s already dressed and ready to go when you get here.”
“Great! Thanks!” Eric hung up the phone and ran out to his car. It was nice having a girlfriend who didn’t need to do anything special just to leave the house. Sookie woke up, got dressed and was ready for the day. Although she looked amazing at Homecoming, he remembered. He’d never seen her look so beautiful.
Sliding into his car, Eric made the quick trip down the road where Sookie was already running out the door before he could come to a complete stop. She opened her door and slipped in before he could put the vehicle in park.
“Hi!” she mouthed as she leaned in and gave him a kiss.
“Hi, to you too,” Eric smiled at her. “You seem even more excited to see me than usual.” Sookie took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “Do you or Gran need anything from the store?” She shook her head ‘no’ and squeezed his hand again. “I guess I just lucked out and got some great company for the trip. I’m glad everywhere around here is closed on Christmas Eve. It means I get to drive with you all the way to Shreveport.” He felt the weight of Sookie’s head rest against his shoulder, and her hand slid to cover his over the gear shift. “Want to put in a tape?” he pointed to his dashboard. “Try the one with the label, For Sookie.”
Sookie’s hand left his so suddenly that he couldn’t help but laugh. She quickly shuffled through his tapes until the one with the freshly written label, For Sookie, came into view. Putting the tape in the player, she pushed play and patiently waited for the first song.
“Anger he smiles towering in shiny metallic purple armor-”
Looking at Eric curiously, Sookie focused on the words.
“Queen Jealousy, envy waits behind him.
Her Fiery green gown sneers at the grassy ground-”
She didn’t know the song at all, and it wasn’t like anything she’d ever heard before… But the lyrics were painting a picture in her head. Enveloped in a spiraling rainbow, Sookie closed her eyes and let herself be carried through to the chorus.
“But they’re all bold as love-”
Yes, they are, Sookie couldn’t help but agree breathlessly. Even if the way she expressed herself wasn’t easy for others to understand, it had always been easy for Eric. She was more emboldened these past four months, but there was still a cowardly side of her that was too scared to accept that anything else could come of it. There was always that inkling of doubt that someone like Eric Northman could actually love her.
“And all these emotions of mine keep holding me from
Giving my life to a rainbow like you.”
Sookie felt her heart lurch. Was this song meant to be him singing to her? Or did he hear it and think she was singing it to him? Could it be both ways? Are we both scared?
In no time, Sookie had pondered her way through the remainder of the song, and by the end decided that she could take strength from the message. He was trying to tell her something, and no matter if she sought answers deeply or superficially, the answer was the same: ‘Be Bold as Love.’ Even if neither of them could say it yet with their hands or mouths, they could show it. Through their hugs, kisses, and tears, they could express what it was they felt until they were finally confident enough to both accept and give their love freely.
Leaning her head once more against Eric’s shoulder, Sookie listened as the next song started. This one she recognized. It was Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac. She smiled as she hugged Eric’s arm tightly. The next was a Steve Miller Band song called True Fine Love, and Sookie felt herself wanting to be closer and closer. After that, it was another song that she didn’t know, but the singer’s voice was familiar.
The experience was a rollercoaster of emotion as Sookie recognized some songs, and found herself straining to absorb every new one presented to her. By the time they ended up at Walmart, Sookie almost wanted to beg her boyfriend to let them stay and listen a while longer.
“We’ve got the whole car ride back to listen to more,” Eric laughed as he turned off the ignition and then slipped out of the car to jog around to her side. Sookie pouted as he opened her door, but climbed out without protest. “How do you like my music choices?” Sookie gave him two thumbs up. “I’m glad. I tried to pick some music I knew you’d already know, but still, introduce you to some other songs.” She nodded in agreement.
“Love the first song!” she told him with enthusiasm in her gestures. “Who sings it?”
“The song is Bold as Love, and it’s by Jimi Hendrix,” Eric answered as he placed his hand on her lower back since he wanted her hands free to talk.
“Very beautiful,” she told him.
“It’s one of my favorites. Jimi Hendrix’ music has always made me wish I’d learn to play the guitar,” he admitted. “Maybe when I go away to college next year I’ll finally try to learn. I bet there will be plenty of people who know how to play, and I might be able to convince someone to teach me.”
Sookie smiled as he laughed at the idea, and decided he had given her the best idea for a high school graduation gift. The question was, could she find a way to save up for it? Finding a job when you had no voice was not a simple matter, especially in a small town like Bon Temps. For the hundredth time in the past two months, Sookie fantasized about leaving her little hamlet behind and seeing just what the world could offer her.
The pint-sized shopping list hardly seemed worth the twenty-minute drive into Shreveport, and it took longer to check out than to get their groceries. However, they spent their time in line talking about the music on Eric’s mixtape.
“I knew you’d like that song,” Eric smiled as Sookie’s hands moved with a growing fluidity.
The woman behind them in line could only stare, confused by the half of the conversation she was hearing. Eventually, the curiosity got the better of her, and she just had to ask…
“How does she enjoy music if she’s deaf?” The plain curiosity eased some of Eric’s annoyance.
“She’s not deaf,” Eric explained. “She just can’t speak.”
The woman paused a moment thoughtfully before she smiled, “I think that’s sweet that you learned sign language so you could speak with your sister.”
“I’m not her brother. I’m her boyfriend,” Eric laughed as he pulled Sookie into his side. “I just can’t hold her hand while she’s talking.”
“He taught me to sign,” Sookie mouthed and pantomimed.
The woman gave an apologetic smile, “I’m sorry, didn’t catch that.”
“I taught her to sign,” Eric told her. “I knew ASL before we met.”
“Oh, what got you interested in that?” the woman asked as they all shuffled a few inches through the epically long line.
Eric flushed a little bit, “I’m a military brat. There was a boy whose father served with mine. He was deaf. I learned to sign so I could talk to him since his father often ended up at the same bases as mine.” Sookie wondered why that story made him blush but decided it was better to ask privately if it was something that could bring color to his cheeks.
Finally, it was their turn to check out, and once their purchase was made, they wished the curious woman a Merry Christmas and headed back to the car.
“Why did your deaf friend make you blush?” Sookie asked curiously as they arrive at the car.
Eric opened her door for her and neglected to respond until he was back in his own seat. When the tape player kicked on, he ejected it and sat in silence another moment.
“Logan,” Eric began slowly, “that was my friend’s name. He had an older sister named Freyda. She was gorgeous, and I sort of was very nice to Logan because I wanted Freyda to notice me.”
“Why are you embarrassed about that?” It seemed reasonable to her that boys would try and get close to their friends’ attractive sisters. Jason did stuff like that all the time!
“Freyda was the first girl I had sex with,” Eric mumbled. “My father got a promotion, and it ended up meaning I never saw Logan again… Or Freyda for that matter. When I heard about the promotion, I told them, and the next thing I knew, Freyda was coming on to me; just like I’d always hoped she would. We got transferred back to the States, but I still write Logan from time to time.”
“Freyda,” Eric showed her the spelling, and Sookie huffed. “And no, not Freyda. Like I told you before; Freyda and I were just familiar with each other. I was never in love with her. I just thought she was pretty, and I was attracted to her.”
“I feel a little insufficient,” Sookie signed solemnly.
“Because we don’t have sex?” Eric asked worriedly.
Sookie shook her head, “I don’t know what makes me feel that way.”
There was a silent, motionless moment that seemed to go on forever. When Eric couldn’t find any words to console her, and she couldn’t find any way to elaborate on her feelings, Eric started the engine and pulled out of the parking space. The car ride was quiet as neither wanted to ruin the mixtape Eric had created by playing it in such a melancholy atmosphere.
When they were arriving in Bon Temps, Eric finally broke the silence and asked, “Would you like to hang out here until dinner? Since you’ll be coming back anyway?” There was a hint of hope, maybe even desperation in his voice. It encouraged her to nod in agreement. “Thank you.” She looked at him worriedly when he said that, and an urge to take his hand pulled at her arm until her fingertips touched him.
As he parked the car, Sookie’s hands flung up, “I’m not mad!”
“I know,” Eric assured, “but your feelings are hurt. I want to talk about it.” Sookie nodded as they headed into the house, and waited by the stairs as Eric dropped the groceries off in the kitchen. She didn’t hear him mention to Pam that she was here or that she was staying for the afternoon.
“Come upstairs with me,” Eric signed at her, and Sookie realized that he wanted them to have privacy. When they were safely behind his bedroom door, Eric turned to Sookie and waited for her to give him any kind of hint to what she was thinking. “I wish you’d help me understand why you were feeling inadequate.”
“You show me so much patience,” Sookie stared down at the floor even as her hands moved. “I don’t know if I’m moving too slow for you, or-” Sookie looked up in surprise as Eric grabbed her wrists and pulled her against his body.
“You are not moving too slow,” Eric assured her. “Whatever pace you need, I want. If you are happy, then I’m happy. I’ll be much happier if you have sex with me when you want it rather than when you think I want it.”
“That’s the part I don’t get!” Sookie complained as she searched for a pen and paper. They had long since maxed out her vocabulary, and she knew part of the problem with their communication was that Eric was filling in the blanks. Admittedly, he was doing a fine job, but she didn’t want to risk any misunderstandings. She found an old conversation on his desk and a pencil. Quickly she scrawled, “How can getting something inevitable later rather than sooner make you happy?”
“Inevitable?” Eric looked at her in surprise. Her face was red, but there was no mistaking what she had stated plainly. “You think sleeping with me is inevitable?” Her expression clearly said ‘duh.’ “Wow,” Eric sat on his bed as he continued to stare at his girlfriend.
“Why are you so shocked? You’ve practically planned out our lives for the next year and a half!” Sookie pointed out.
Eric laughed a bit uncomfortably, “I figured you’d get weirded out by the fact I planned so far ahead.”
“I did,” she assured him. “In fact, it freaked me out a little bit, but you’re a planner. Every once and a while you let your impulses get the better of you, but for the most part, you’re very meticulous.”
“True,” Eric agreed.
“I realized one of the reasons you always asked me so many questions is because you’re such a big planner. The more you knew about me, the more you’d be able to anticipate my reactions and plan ahead,” Sookie told him. “I must be boring to plan for. I’m so predictable.”
“I like that, though,” Eric argued. “I like knowing what makes you smile and why. I like knowing that even though you get giddy when I open doors for you, you’re still uncomfortable when I buy you dinner and stuff. I liked picking out your Christmas present with all that in mind.”
Sookie felt her heart tighten pleasantly as he explained all of his feelings. She appreciated that he was such an excellent communicator. He didn’t assume her meanings. He asked for clarifications. He listened even though she couldn’t speak.
Setting down the pen and paper on the desk, Sookie came to where Eric sat on the corner of his bed. With more anticipation than hesitation, Sookie slid onto Eric’s lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. Eric’s hands naturally reached to hold her hips as her mouth descended upon his own.
As their tongues tangled, Eric felt the all too familiar sensation of blood rushing to his southern region. If it weren’t so annoying, he would have laughed. Instead, he cautiously pressed Sookie down against his erection, wondering how she’d react. She usually ignored his hard-ons, chalking it up to the fact that Eric was, in fact, a man, and these things happened.
A pleasurable jolt ran between Sookie’s legs as she felt Eric’s hardness pressing up beneath her. She felt her insides clench at the tentative caress of their intimate areas rubbing together, even through clothing it felt like her sanity would leave her.
Pushing down on her own, Sookie rocked her hips curiously against Eric’s until a strained, “Fu-uck,” escaped past his teeth. Then his mouth was covering hers again. His hands were squeezing her ass frantically and running up and down her back in alternating movements.
“Mm,” her whimper was like wine on his lips.
“Your little noises are so sexy, Sookie,” Eric panted against her mouth as he felt his cock hardening painfully. Her movements hurried all the more at his words, and he squeezed his eyes shut in concentration. “I can’t take much more of this, Sookie,” her boyfriend gasped. He wanted to rip open their clothing and push up inside of her. That’s all it would take to undo him. She was so warm and perfect. One touch of her skin against his member was all it would take to break away the final thread of his control.
If it had been painful, Sookie might have thought she was straddling an iron bar, but the feel of Eric between her legs was everything except uncomfortable. It was bliss.
“Eh!” She gasped as another thrum vibrated through her sex.
“Damn it!” Eric snarled as he pushed her hips against his own and felt his cock throb against the inner seam of his jeans. Sookie froze as his hands slid from her hips and he hugged her tightly around the middle. She could feel him pulsing against her, and she held his head to her chest as he gasped for air.
It was a moment later that Eric realized Sookie was still stroking his hair, and he could feel his boxers starting to stick to him.
“I need to clean up,” Eric told his girlfriend as he slowly pushed her onto his bed. Sookie nodded in understanding and laid on her side with her back to the bathroom door as Eric went to wash and change his clothes.
When he returned, Sookie was still laying on her side, so he spooned behind her and hugged her back against his chest.
“Sorry about that,” he murmured against her ear. She took his hand and kissed his palm in reply. “I thought I had a handle on it, but when it sounded like you tried to say my name… It undid me,” he laughed a bit self-consciously.
Sookie turned in his arms and smiled. Her hands came between them, and she reassured him, “That makes me happy.”
Pulling her against his chest, Eric asked gently, “Do you want me to make you happier?” He watched as Sookie’s lip was clamped between her teeth. There was a flash of excitement as he saw her indecision. Finally, she shook her head ‘no.’ “Because you’re shy or because you’re not ready yet?”
“Both,” she replied.
“Alright,” Eric kissed her lips softly as he took her hand in his and ran it up and down his chest. “Sorry,” he laughed when he realized what he was doing, “I guess I wasn’t done letting you touch me.”
Sookie leaned in and kissed him more deeply as she let her hands explore him on their own. She felt the sharp ridges of his muscles when he tensed from a tickle, but mostly his body was just smooth and firm. Fantasies about memorizing his musculature with her tongue began to funnel into her brain, and her body responded immediately.
“You feel so good,” Eric whispered against her mouth. His fingers dug into her sides as he resisted the urgent desire to touch her as well. Calm down, calm down! He reminded himself as he took a steadying breath. You boasted about all that control you had. Now’s your chance to show it since your dick isn’t backed up with thirty-two days of cum anymore!
Mercifully, Sookie wasn’t grinding against him, and Eric managed to cling to that luck as his opportunity. He unearthed his fingertips from her sides and instead tangled them into Sookie’s hair. I wonder if she’s an ear or throat girl? he thought as he used the hand in her hair to tilt her head ever so slightly. When the connections of their lips broke, Eric kissed along the side of her jaw until he could suck her earlobe into his mouth. The results tried to claw at his self-control.
Sookie’s body tightened beneath him, her breasts pushed up against his chest, and her arms wrapped around his neck and head. She seemed intent to keep him there, sucking on her ear and tugging little strings of electricity across her sex. Tiny sounds of arousal mingled with her gasps for air and Eric began to worry that he was becoming so addicted to those sounds that, if she ever learned to speak again, she’d be able to make him cum with words alone.
Tracing his tongue along the shell of her ear, Eric gave her cartilage a small tug with his teeth, and Sookie’s legs wrapped around his hips. Alternating between sucking and nibbling, Eric felt his groin begin to stir. Calm down, calm down, he told himself again.
His mouth began to trail down, curious to see if there was any pleasure for her to find at her throat. When his tongue licked a trail from her collarbone to her chin, he was excited to hear a low ‘ah’ come from her mouth. Encouraged, he nibbled and sucked there until her body began to wiggle beneath him.
“Feeling good?” he teased as he planted a swift kiss on her lips. Sookie nodded dazedly beneath him. “I’m glad, but unless we’re planning on making another mess, we should probably stop.” As he sat back on his knees, he saw that her nipples were hardened beneath her shirt. Then again, his cock was once more trying to bust his zipper, so it seemed fair. I wonder if she’s wet at all? The urge to find out was tempting, but the repercussions stopped him. Even if she allowed him to finger her, he didn’t want their first physical interaction to be hurried. He wanted to explore with her and take their time. The last thing he wished was for her to feel rushed. But I want to know! Eric’s pride howled in frustration. If nothing else, he had to see if she felt any real excitement. After all, little noises were encouraging, but Sookie wasn’t always so easy to understand.
“Sookie,” Eric murmured as he glanced at her hard nipples, “I have to know.” She looked at him curiously. “What we just did, are you turned on?” Her face reddened as she slowly nodded. “Did it make you wet?” Her forehead creased with slight anxiety at the question, and she brought a pillow over her head to hide her embarrassment. “You know what I mean by that, right?” he asked worriedly, tugging at the edge of the pillow. When he found her eyes, she narrowed them at him. “Talk to me?”
Sookie pulled the pillow from her face and demanded, “Why do you need to know that?”
“Sookie, I just came in my pants not ten minutes ago. Can you humor me?” Eric sighed.
“Ego?” she guessed.
“Partly,” he smiled. “Mostly, though, I want to be sure I’m making you feel good, and not just surprising sounds out of you.”
Sookie looked at him, her cheeks still rosy from the previous activities and the current discussion. Finally, she gave a quick, sharp nod.
It was more than enough for Eric, and he let it go at that. “I’m glad,” was all he said in response to her nod.