Unspoken Feelings Ch. 20

**EDIT** AGAIN, TO BE CLEAR, THIS CHAPTER WAS ADJUSTED FOR NOTHING MORE THAN TIMELINE ERROR CORRECTION. WE ARE GOING INTO SPRING BREAK, NOT THE END OF THE SEMESTER.

CHAPTER TWENTY: WHAT DID I MISS?

February 23

Dear Sookie,

Alcide’s girlfriend has practically kept me exiled from my dorm room. She’s there every day, and I’m losing my mind!

If you’re wondering why I’m ranting about her all the sudden, it’s because she had the nerve to suggest that you let Compton get away because– get this– you’re in love with him!

Now, every time I see her face, I just want to scream at her, and I can’t concentrate to save my life. I have no idea how I’m going to study for midterms with her annoying voice talking endlessly to Alcide. I guess I’ll have to make a home in the library.

I’m not sure which is more frustrating; being away from you or listening to idiots talk about our relationship like they know a damned thing?

I hope you’re healing and that Pam is taking good care of you. I love you so much and can’t wait the two weeks before I can do my last test and jump on a plane back to you for a whole week!

I love you,

Eric

Signing his name, Eric folded the letter, stuffed it in an envelope and licked it shut. He searched his desk for a minute before finding that he was out of stamps.

With a sigh, Eric took the envelope, addressed it and headed out to the post office for what he hoped to be the last book he’d buy for quite some time. Of course, there would be bills to pay next year, but his postage financing would drop significantly for the next few months.

“Hey, Eric,” Alcide greeted tiredly as he passed his roommate in the hall.

“Hey,” Eric returned as he watched Alcide slump into their room. With everything that had been happening with him and Sookie, it was only in that moment that Eric realized that Alcide had looked exhausted the past week. Deciding to wait to mail his letter, Eric returned to his room and gave a quick knock in the doorframe. “Is everything all right?”

Alcide glanced back at the knock. “Yeah, why?”

“You look run down,” Eric commented.

His roommate shrugged, “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“Midterms are in two weeks,” Eric reminded him. “Is it that or something else?”

“Something else,” Alcide sighed in frustration.

“Don’t you think you’d be able to concentrate better if you talked it out?” Eric suggested. “I know we aren’t much of friends, but-”

“Debbie went out without me last night,” Alcide blurted out suddenly.

“And?” Eric entered further into the room.

“And it’s been happening a lot more often the past month,” Alcide whispered. “She’s missed a lot of her morning classes this semester, and she just barely kept from flunking out through the first semester.”

“She hasn’t talked to you about any of it?” Eric came and sat on his desk chair.

Alcide shook his head, “This past week has been pretty nuts because it’s the most time she’s spent with me in the evenings since we got to school. Even when she’s physically here, though, she doesn’t seem to be with me. You know?”

Eric nodded slowly, “You have no idea what’s been bothering her?”

Alcide stared at his hands dully. “We went to a lot of parties when we first started school,” Eric remembered often falling asleep in an empty room the first semester. It had been awesome. “But I noticed my grades dropping and cut out with all the parties. Debbie didn’t. She was hungover a lot, and… I’ve been scared to ask her, but I think she might be doing drugs.”

Eric bowed his head gloomily. The past year he had been so absorbed in missing Sookie and all of their problems that he had been almost entirely ignorant of the predicaments going on around him. The fact that his own roommate had been living with these concerns was troubling in itself, but to know that Eric hadn’t even been aware of those issues was shameful.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice,” Eric apologized. He realized then that Debbie had actually said rather nice things at times. Maybe drugs were the problem. Perhaps his dislike for her had been amplified by Debbie’s college experimentations and not her usual personality.

“It’s okay… I mean, you and I aren’t exactly friends. We’re just a couple guys that don’t really pay each other much mind,” Alcide mumbled.

“That’s not really it,” Eric told him. “I think you and I could’ve been friends if I hadn’t been so wrapped up in missing Sookie. You and I actually get along pretty well.”

Alcide smiled briefly, “Yeah, and you always shared your care packages with me.”

“I could never finish all of those things she sent me by myself,” Eric grinned back. The two were silent for a long moment before Eric finally uttered, “Next year, we won’t be roommates, but if you want to still hang out…?”

“Really?” Alcide raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah, and Sookie and I won’t be leaving for England until mid-June, so if you want to meet up in Shreveport, I’d like that too.”

“Cool, man,” Alcide nodded slowly. “I’d like that.”

“If you need to talk about Debbie, I’m all ears. You listened to me whine about Sookie all year, so it’s the least I can do,” Eric offered.

“Okay, okay,” Alcide laughed, “you can pull back on the apologetic actions, man. I get it, you’re sorry.”

“I’m also serious,” Eric assured before he stood up. “I’ll leave you alone now, but if you need to talk- let me know.”

“Will do,” Alcide waved as Eric finally left the room, and the blond man made his way outside.

Finally on his way to the Post Office again, Eric felt better about his relationship with his roommate. In all honesty, Eric liked Alcide and thought that he was a rather decent guy. Discovering what Alcide had been going through during the school year only made Eric like him more.

{†}

February 27

Dear Eric,

School’s been a nightmare. Before you panic– no. No one’s picking on me. Actually, everyone’s been uncomfortably kind to me. People who haven’t talked to me in years are suddenly asking about our wedding. Classmates who were pushing me into lockers are offering to carry my books to my next class. I’d like it better if they’d just ignore me instead of trying to take pity on me.

Although, Tara Thornton started talking to me again. She used to be my best friend until the car accident. Tara apologized to me my first day back to school and said she knew it was wrong to avoid me but was scared she’d be bullied even worse if she stayed my friend. A couple of days later, Tara dropped by the house, and I told her I forgive her. You should have seen her face! Gran and Pam helped me explain that talking is still challenging, and nearly impossible if people are staring at me. They told her it would be better if she didn’t let the rest of the school know, and as far as I can tell, no one’s said a word about it.

Anyway, so Pam, Tara, and Tara’s cousin, Lafayette have all been hanging out with me. Lafayette graduated the year before you and Jason, so you never met him. I’m delighted that Pam and Tara are hanging out. Hopefully, they’ll get each other through their Senior year since I’ll be gone.

I’m sorry Debbie seems to be giving you a hard time, but next year won’t be so bad! We’ll be together, a united front against her comments, and don’t even try believing that she’s right about my feelings for Bill. If you’ve found yourself wondering about my feelings for him, I’ll assure you that I’ve never had a crush on him. As for my calm about his escape? I dunno, I can’t help that he gave the cops the slip, and I’m not going to let it eat me up. Either he’ll slip up and get caught one day, or he’ll get away with it. I’m not going to waste another minute of my life worrying about justice or vengeance. I have too beautiful of a future ahead of me to spend any of it thinking about Bill Compton.

I love you so much,

Sookie

{†}

March 1

Dear Sookie,

As much as I hate gossip and talking about other people’s relationships, Alcide shared some news about Debbie. I guess she’s been getting a little too into the college drug culture. She’s also been going out without telling Alcide about it. The guy seemed really worried and lost on what to do. I wish I knew what to say to him.

By the way, that was one long letter you sent me! I was surprised considering you’re still in a cast! Although, it was definitely a pleasant surprise!

Midterms start next week. I should be getting my schedule for it tomorrow. Once I do, I’ll let you know when to expect me home. I’m sorry your classmates are annoying you, but I’m glad that they’re at least treating you like a human at last!

Love always,

Eric

{†}

March 5

Dear Eric,

Since it’s my elbow that’s busted, I still have pretty decent mobility in my wrist. The biggest problem is that the cast wraps between my thumb and the rest of my hand! I have to hold the pen out, and it makes my hand get tired faster.

Anyway, I’m sad to hear about Debbie and that Alcide is having a hard time because of it. From the stories you’ve told me, he’s seemed like a really decent guy, and anyone who loves my baking gets automatic high scores from me!

I can’t wait until you’re home! I know it’s only for a week, but I’ll take whatever I can get at this point! That doesn’t mean slack off studying for your tests because you’re distracted about coming home! Remember to let loose some while studying, and get plenty of rest.

I love you so, so much,

Sookie

Eric smiled as he put the letter down and returned to his notes. He was once again taking refuge in the library, avoiding Debbie at all costs. The last time he’d been caught alone in the dorm room had undoubtedly been eye-opening. With the suspicion that Debbie was now using drugs, Eric was more aware of her.

What Eric didn’t understand was Debbie’s obsession with his and Sookie’s relationship. She would alternate between complimenting their commitment and simultaneously undermine its authenticity. Debbie seemed adamant about proving that one of them was cheating. She would try and verify this each time by making a subtle move on Eric only to be shot down. When her efforts were useless, she departed with a comment about Sookie being less than faithful.

None of that mattered, however, because his midterms started in two days. This meant that in five days, he’d be heading home for a whole week.

“Is this seat taken?”

Eric looked up with exasperation only to choke on his tongue. Before him stood a woman with dark eyes, dark hair, and a lithe figure. She was tall and shapely. Eric wouldn’t have been surprised if she told him she was paying her way through college as a model.

“No,” Eric replied with whispered deference to the library.

“Cool,” the woman sat down with her books and smiled at him. “I’m Claudine.”

“Eric,” he extended his hand. “Got a major?”

Claudine shook her head, “No, just doing my prereqs this year. My great grandpa really wants me to get my degree in business, though. He thinks my cousin’s going to run the family business into the ground.”

“I’m working toward my degree in accounting,” Eric offered.

“Ew, numbers,” Claudine stuck out her tongue playfully.

Quickly, Eric adjusted to the stunning beauty beside him and managed a sincere smile. “I like numbers, but I am planning to minor in business.”

“Really? Do you want to own your own business?” Claudine asked.

“Sort of,” Eric glanced at his letter to Sookie and explained. “My fiancée is a terrific baker. I thought, maybe, we’d open a pastry shop together up in Shreveport.”

“Are you from Shreveport?” Claudine asked curiously.

“I’m from all over,” Eric chuckled softly, “Sookie’s from Bon Temps, though. It’s a little south of-”

“I know Bon Temps!” Claudine crowed happily, only to be viciously shushed by the stressed students. “My family is from Monroe,” she explained softly.

“Really? You have practically no accent,” Eric pointed out.

“My brother and I got shipped off to school in Maine when we were ten years old,” Claudine admitted. “I guess we lost a bit of the Southern twang.”

Eric smiled at her explanation before glancing back at his study materials. “I guess we should get to work now,” he suggested.

“Yeah,” Claudine sighed reluctantly. “Hey, are you good at math?”

“Yes,” Eric snorted. He’d just told her his major.

“Can you help me with this real quick?” She tilted her book toward him.

Eric sighed but nodded in agreement. The more he talked to Claudine, the more it demystified her beauty. She quickly became just another girl Eric went to school with and flushed away her natural charm. Relief flooded Eric as he overcame the attraction of the only girl to give him pause since arriving at school.

And it wasn’t even difficult, Eric laughed to himself. Everyone had tried to make him succumb to this doubt that some beautiful woman could steal his heart from Sookie. Now, Eric felt he had probably met the closest woman to a supermodel he would ever meet, and he felt no shred of consideration to abandoning his love for his fiancée. It was stupid, and Eric had never doubted his feelings, but to finally have confirmation beyond his own beliefs was fortifying.

Next year he wouldn’t have to prove a thing. Eric’s attachment and devotions would be clear to everyone once they finally met his bride. He would love her with all his heart, and no one would ever feel the need to question them again.

On to Chapter Twenty-One!

Unspoken Feelings Ch. 19

**EDIT** DUE TO THE FACT I SCREWED UP MY TIMELINES, CHAPTER 19 AND 20 HAVE BEEN ALTERED TO REFLECT THAT WE ARE AT MIDTERMS NOT FINALS. SORRY FOR THE MIX-UP, GUYS, AND THANK YOU TO THE READER WHO POINTED IT OUT TO ME.**

 

CHAPTER NINETEEN: BRUISED

“I’m sorry, Sookie, but Bill seems to have made a run for it.”

That sentence had been ringing in Eric’s ears for the past three days, and even a visit with Sookie to Dr. Broadway had not dampened the statement from his memory. Now, after considerable urging and even some threats made by his fiancée, Eric was finally on the plane ride back to New Orleans.

It was the longest flight of his life, which was saying something for a young man who had flown overseas multiple times and was the son of United States Air Force pilot. Eric was grateful when the journey ended, and he could exit the gate to see John Quinn waiting for him to give a lift back to the dorms.

“Dude, you’re late,” Quinn remarked, but could only raise his eyebrows in surprise at Eric’s haggard appearance. “What the hell happened? You and Sookie break up or something?”

“I need a drink,” Eric rumbled, not bothering to shorten his stride as he walked past Quinn.

“Eric,” Quinn touched his friend’s shoulder, “you’ve never said you needed a drink. What the fuck happened?”

“Get me in front of a bottle, and I’ll tell you all about it,” Eric answered as he shook off Quinn’s hand and stormed through the airport. The irritated blond only stopped briefly at the payphones and made a few quick calls before gesturing impatiently to the doors.

“You’re starting to freak me out, Man,” Quinn commented as they went to his car and he quickly scouted out a bar to get the story of Eric’s extended stay in Bon Temps.

When the pair were saddled up at the bar, Eric ordered two shots of bourbon and a Guinness. The two small glasses were quickly thrown back before Quinn could reach for one, and then the beer was up to Eric’s lips.

“Someone beat my fiancée,” Eric finally spoke.

“At what?” Quinn was confused.

“Beat, battered, assaulted,” Eric snapped. “Take your pick! He fucking broke her arm and some ribs.”

Quinn’s jaw slung open in surprise, “Fuck, man, what the hell?”

“You know I told you she was bullied?” Eric reminded, and Quinn nodded. “She stood up for herself, and they got her back for it after school. He jumped her when she was walking home from the bus stop.”

“The cops got the guy though, right?” Quinn demanded.

Eric shook his head, “She hesitated to say right away. She was scared of what her brother or I would do if we got to him before the police. Jason figured out who it was and went and beat the shit out of him, but I guess the little bitch figured the cops would come next, so he skipped town.”

“Jesus, Eric, I’m so sorry,” Quinn looked at his Coors just to have something to stare at instead of his wreck of a best friend.

There was a long silence before a masked sniffle beside him drew Quinn’s attention back to Eric.

“Sookie started talking. She told me she loved me.”

“Are you serious?” Quinn felt his emotions ricochet into joy. “That’s amazing, Eric!”

“So you see why I’m just… fucked up?” Eric asked before draining the rest of his beer and flagging the server for another one.

Quinn could undoubtedly see the emotional battle his friend was facing. On the other hand, he’d seen a couple friends already wade into the early signs of alcoholism, and he didn’t want that for Eric.

“I get it, Eric, but… just take it easy on the drinks, okay?” Quinn tried to gently warn him.

When the server placed another pint of Guinness in front of him, Eric stared at it a moment before taking a slow sip. “I’ll just drink this one, and then we can go back to campus,” he assured. Quinn was pleasantly surprised when Eric did just that. He nursed his fourth drink for an hour, expressing his concerns for leaving Sookie behind.

“You only got another quarter until you two are together, and Sookie can have a fresh start as soon as she finishes school,” Quinn encouraged as he walked with Eric to the car. “I seriously doubt that Cunton is gonna come after her again. He ran away to save his ass, not so he could get vengeance later.”

Eric snorted at Quinn’s new name for Bill Compton, but was quickly overtaken with concern, “How could you know that?”

Quinn frowned, “Because he’s been picking on a defenseless little girl for his entire life. Now that she’s not taking any of his shit, he’s going to move back to people too weak or scared to stand up to him. He doesn’t want a punching bag that hits back. He’s too weak to handle that.”

“That’s true. When I threatened Bill, he backed off her,” Eric remembered. “The second her brother and I weren’t there to keep him in check; he was right back to his bullshit.”

“See? She’ll be fine until you guys can start over down here,” Quinn patted his friend on the shoulder before shoving him into the passenger seat and then strolling around the car to get behind the wheel.

“Are you okay to drive?” Eric asked.

“Dude, I had one beer over the course of an hour. I’m fine,” Quinn laughed as he turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking space. “You going to be alright tonight? Wanna crash at the house with me?”

“I wish I could go somewhere to be alone,” Eric commented as he leaned his head back against the seat. “Everyone’s going to be badgering me about why I was gone so long.”

“Not to bring it up even more,” Quinn grimaced, “but how’s Sookie handling Bill getting away?”

Eric snorted on a laugh, “Better than anyone else!”

“Seriously?” Quinn asked in surprise.

“She said it’s real justice because Bill did such a good job of running her away from her home, and now he’s gone and gotten himself exiled from it himself,” Eric explained. “As long as he doesn’t want to serve time, he can’t come back to Bon Temps.”

Quinn let out a low whistle, “And she’s okay with him getting away like that?”

“I don’t know. We went to see Sookie’s therapist yesterday, and with everything that happened, I can’t quite figure out how Sookie feels,” Eric confessed. “I think I’m too angry to absorb anything. That’s the second kick in the balls about this. I’m in so much pain and have so much anger about it that things that have always come naturally to me aren’t easy anymore. I’ve always been able to just look at Sookie’s face and get it. Now? I don’t know.”

Quinn nodded as if he understood, but he remained silent. What was really striking him wasn’t the fact that Eric’s fiancée had been assaulted, but the peculiarity of Eric sharing all of this with him. He knew that they were close, but he was more than aware that Eric didn’t like looking weak.

“Are you going to classes tomorrow?” Quinn asked, hoping a change of subject would help him ease the shiver running across his shoulders.

“Yeah,” Eric replied, looking out the window.

When silence overtook the car again, Quinn swallowed hard and whispered, “Hey, Eric… Do you think… You should see someone, too? Maybe someone who could, y’know, help you sort through things?”

Eric sighed and finally admitted, “I think getting it off my chest helped a lot.”

“Why didn’t you just say it to Sookie?” Quinn wondered.

“How could I? She’d think I was mad at her,” Eric pointed out.

Quinn rolled his eyes, “No she wouldn’t. You guys talk about everything. You’re the only long-distance couple I seen get through their first year apart without incident.”

“I don’t want her to worry about me,” Eric grumbled.

Rolling to a stop at a light, Quinn frowned and glared at his friend. “Dude, just write her a letter about it or something. Get it written so that she understands what you’re feeling and why, and just spill your guts already! Maybe it’s not you. Maybe both of you are at a loss for communicating now that she can speak. Did you ever think that’s the problem? So go back to your roots. Talk how you guys know how.”

Eric considered the suggestion and decided that writing out how he felt might be therapeutic. He even bargained with himself that he didn’t have to send the letter if the mere act of writing it alleviated some of the pain inside.

When they arrived in silence at the dorm, Eric gave a solemn, ‘thank you,’ to his friend and headed up to his room. Alcide was already asleep, and Eric went to his desk to begin writing the letter he hoped would cure the anger that was threatening to swallow him.

February 18

Dear Sookie,

I’ve missed you since I walked away from you at the airport. It was the longest flight of my life, and after a talk with Quinn, I think it’s because I left you with so much open and unresolved.

It might be because of Compton, it might be because you can speak now, but I haven’t been as open with you over the past few days as I used to be. I’m scared for you, and I’m angry for you. Leaving today was harder than ever because if I feel this way, I’m terrified that you feel a hundred times worse, and I’m not there to help you.

Tagging along to your therapy session did nothing for me. I don’t need the help of a professional. I just need to know that you’re okay. I need you to smile and to feel that it’s genuine. I need to know that you still tell me everything, and you’re not trying to be brave like when the bullying started back up.

That was the only time that I can recall that you hid something from me. I need you to know that you don’t have to hide from me. Whether it’s words or fists, please, please, please tell me if someone’s hurting you…

Love always,

Eric

{†}

Sookie lay in bed, reading the letter from Eric for the fifth time. She hadn’t been back to school yet, deciding to take the week off before returning. Gran didn’t even put forth the pretense of a protest, accommodating her granddaughter’s wishes.

“Eric will be home in a few more weeks for Spring Break,” Gran commented as she came into the bedroom with the laundry basket. Sookie lay gloomily in her bed. “Are you counting down?”

“Gran?”

The grandmother felt her heart flutter at hearing Sookie’s voice. It was still so new and welcome, but also strange. Every so often, Gran would have expected to hear the barn cat, Tina, utter a phrase before she’d expect it from Sookie.

“Yes, Dear?” Gran began putting away the laundry merely to keep herself busy and not put too much spotlight on Sookie. As the concussion abated, her family began to notice that Sookie had a harder time speaking when she was watched. The fact that she could still talk was encouraging, however, and the doctors, as well as Amelia, were optimistic that her ability to speak wouldn’t completely disappear.

“I don’t… feel good,” Sookie choked out.

Adele quickly put the t-shirt she was holding on the bed and came to sit beside Sookie. “What’s wrong?” she asked anxiously.

“My stomach hurts,” Sookie whispered. “And my throat…”

Her grandmother smiled as she soothed back Sookie’s hair, “Do you need a good cry?”

“It won’t…” she flailed her hands, trying to express that she couldn’t get to that point. Something inside of her just wasn’t letting go, and as much as Sookie knew a good sob would help, it just wouldn’t happen.

“Sometimes, you just need help getting started,” Gran chuckled. “Come on, let’s go watch Steel Magnolias.”

Sookie let herself be hauled out of bed and into the living room. Together, grandmother and granddaughter watched the tear-jerker, and it wasn’t long before the movie had done its job. Sookie turned her watering eyes against Adele’s shoulder and began sobbing.

“That’s a good girl. Let it all out,” Gran crooned as she smoothed Sookie’s hair.

After half an hour of tears, Sookie fell asleep on the couch, and Adele finished the rest of the household chores while the young woman rested. Sookie was still asleep when Pam arrived to drop off the day’s homework.

“Hey, Gran,” Pam greeted as she came through the kitchen door. “How’s Sookie?”

“I think she’s good,” Adele smiled. “She had a nice cry today. Finally!”

Pam’s shoulders slumped, “She cried?”

“She needed it, Pam,” Adele assured. “Haven’t you ever felt so overwhelmed that you wanted to just be sick from it?”

“I guess,” Pam frowned. “Is she in her room?”

“No, she’s resting on the couch,” Adele gestured to the living room.

“I’ll go put her stuff on the coffee table, then,” Pam waved as she went to the living room and found Sookie laying on her side, staring at the blank TV. “Hey there. How are you feeling?” Pam crouched down but made sure not to stare at Sookie.

“Better,” Sookie offered groggily.

“Better than?” Pam pressed.

“When Eric left,” Sookie replied.

Pam sighed as she began playing with the ends of Sookie’s hair. “I guess he made the whole thing not so scary?” Sookie nodded in agreement. “And now you are scared and upset?”

“It was ea-asier… when he was… a-angry fo-or me,” Sookie explained roughly.

Nodding in understanding, Pam patted Sookie’s hand awkwardly. “And now you’ve got to deal with the anger and fear by yourself.” Sookie nodded. “You’re not alone, though. You’ve got me, Gran, Godric, and Jason! No one’s going to touch you ever again! So help me God!”

Smiling weakly, Sookie nodded again. The mention of Jason brought a flash of anger. It was brief, but still there, and it was only with the absence of her sorrow that she finally understood why she was angry. If Jason hadn’t confronted Bill, then he might not have run off before the police got to his house. If Sookie hadn’t been so worried about what everyone else would do, she could have told the cops before Jason had beaten up Bill. All in all, she felt angry at herself more than anyone, and how could she say that to Eric?

Of course, the last time you tried to hide the bad stuff from Eric, you were bullied for two months straight, Sookie reminded herself. And then when he found out, he was utterly devastated.

“Sookie?” Pam called when she noticed her friend’s eyes glaze over thoughtfully.

“Hmm?” Sookie’s eyes snapped back to Pam.

“I brought something for you,” Pam grinned as she opened her book bag and extracted a beach bag. “I figured it would do fine for the remainder of the school year with only a couple months left.”

Sookie took the bag from her friend. Her heart raced as she recalled why the replacement was needed. Sheriff Dearborne had found Sookie’s previous book bag in the field Bill had chased her through. One of the straps had ripped off, and the teeth of the zipper had busted. Her books had spilled over three feet, the space of Sookie’s fall, to the ground. The sight of the beating had been temporarily marked by the flattened grass and flecks of blood.

By now the grass will be standing up again like nothing happened, Sookie thought as she gazed at her broken arm.

“Thank you,” Sookie whispered as she quickly put the bag behind her to try and dispel the memory.

“You’re coming back to school on Monday, right?” Pam already knew the answer, but conversation felt strained these past few days. She didn’t blame Sookie for feeling withdrawn, but Pam desperately wanted to protect her friend from any more suffering.

“Yes,” Sookie replied.

“Dr. Jones asked about you today,” Pam mentioned. “He told me to tell you that you’re welcome to hang in his classroom during free periods.”

Dr. Jones used to let her do that before the Northmans arrived, but she’d had him as her teacher the previous two years. She hadn’t wanted to bother him when she wasn’t taking any of his classes this year.

“And I talked to the principal about-”

“Pam,” Sookie interrupted, “it’s okay. You do-on’t have to worry.”

Deflating a bit, Pam considered her options before finally standing up and preparing to leave. “I guess I’ll just let you do your thing for now.”

“Pam,” Sookie reached for her friend’s hand, “thank you.”

“Just don’t hold it all in, okay?” Pam encouraged.

“I promise,” Sookie offered a stunted, careful smile that made Pam cast her gaze down. She missed Sookie’s open, carefree smiles that had been stolen for nearly the past week.

As Sookie watched Pam leave the house, she played with the fuzz of the wrapping near her palm. Her heart was aching, her lungs felt shallow, and her fingers tugged and twisted the soft part of her cast with visible anxiety.

When it became too much, Sookie went to her room and took out a pen and paper.

Dear Eric,

{†}

February 22

Dear Eric,

Everything is different now. After so many years of being picked on and even struck by others, I never really felt angry about it before. Sadness and depression would be more accurate. I felt weak, and unmotivated to be strong. Sometimes, I didn’t believe I deserved the strength to change. Regardless of what I’m about to say, I know I didn’t deserve what happened.

Even though I won’t drop the charges I filed, I’m okay with Bill running off. I’ve chosen not to care about him or his problems. I hope that you can understand my feelings on the situation and that you can let go of your own anger and hatred for Bill in time. Holding on to all of that can lead to exactly what Bill experienced. He was consumed by something that happened a very long time ago, and he let it control him. Don’t be ruled by the same darkness. Forgive and move on. I have.

I guess what I want to tell you is that I’m not scared. I’m definitely tired. I’ll continue counting down the hours until you’re home with me forever. From there I’ll countdown the days until being in this place that’s rejected me for so long doesn’t have the satisfaction of reminding me I’m unwelcome.

With any luck, today’s the last day Bon Temps has forced me to cry.

Love always,

Your Sookie

Eric read the letter through several times since receiving it the previous day, and still couldn’t help but stare at the messy scrawl of his fiancée’s left-handed writing. After a while, Eric hoped he would be able to let go and accept Sookie’s hopes of taking the high road. Instead, he had just felt the anger fester hotter and hotter inside of him.

“You okay, man?”

Eric looked up to see Quinn standing over him. They were in the library, and his friend’s inquiry had invited a wave of hushing sounds.

“I’m still brooding about everything,” Eric whispered the admittance.

“Is that Sookie’s letter?” Quinn asked, and Eric nodded. “What’s it say?” Handing over the paper, Eric waited as Quinn read. When he was done, his friend let out a low hum. “Wow. Your fiancée is a fucking saint. Talk about turning the other cheek!”

“I’m relieved that she doesn’t feel like she deserved it,” Eric mumbled, “but I still think on some level she believes that.”

Quinn shrugged, “If she does, then that’s something she has to work through. How are you working through things?”

“Not well-”

When another grumbling of disapproval rippled through the library, Eric jerked his head to the door. This wasn’t the place for unloading thoughts aloud.

Catching on to Eric’s gesture, Quinn followed the blond giant outside. They walked in the crisp February air for a few moments before Eric finally began releasing his pent-up anger. “I want to kill him, or at least beat him until he’s so fucked up he wished he were dead.”

“Whoa,” Quinn stared at the sudden, but not necessarily unexpected, outburst. “I guess that’s a natural response? Sookie made a good point, though. Shit like that rots inside you. It will get more disgusting and fucked up the longer you hold onto it.”

“I don’t know how to let it go,” Eric confessed.

“Okay, instead of trying to let it go, why don’t you think about what would happen if you did something about it?” Quinn suggested.

Eric paused, “Well, I’d go to jail for murder or at the very least, assault. Sookie would be pissed at me, and we probably wouldn’t end up getting married any time soon, if at all.”

“Feel like killing that asshole now?” Quinn asked.

With an agitated grunt, Eric shook his head. “Not as much.”

“Sometimes more than letting go of something, you have to weigh the consequences,” Quinn pointed out. “Are the results really worth the costs?”

“I didn’t expect you to be so grounded,” Eric told him with the first genuine laugh he’d had in days.

Quinn shrugged, “I got my impulsive streaks, but I’ve gotten into enough trouble to learn the difference between being spontaneous and being reckless.”

“So have I,” Eric responded, but he seemed to doubt his own claims.

Quinn glanced at his friend and patted his shoulder, “Sometimes, you need someone else to ground you. From what I read in that letter, it’s obvious you picked a good wife. She’s tough, she’s forgiving, and she’s way too good for you.”

Eric snorted on a laugh, “Trust me; I’ve been told that many times already, and so has she. Somehow, though, she’s sticking with me.”

“Like I said: she’s a fucking saint,” Quinn repeated as he slapped Eric on the back. “Want to go with me to the gym?”

At first, Eric was going to decline the invitation but quickly thought better of it. Letting off steam in the gym seemed like a much better alternative than spending more time in his head. Left to his own devices, the man thought he could quite possibly devise a murder plot that would keep him from being caught. Sookie would figure it out, though, he considered amusedly as he finally accepted Quinn’s offer. The two headed for the gym, and after a ten mile run on a treadmill, the only death Eric had on his mind was his own via dehydration.

When Eric dragged himself back to the dorm, he was grateful to find Alcide missing, and he checked his watch before he reached for the phone.

“Hello?” a familiar voice lilted over the line.

“Hey, Gran, it’s Eric,” the future grandson-in-law greeted. “Can you put Sookie on?”

“Her speech therapy hasn’t even begun yet. You expect way too much out of that girl!” Gran teased before handing the phone off to her granddaughter. “It’s Eric, Dear.”

“Sookie? Are you there?” Eric asked after a moment.

“Mmm.”

Eric smiled. “I got your letter today, and I showed it to Quinn. He says you’re too good for me.”

“Mmm,” she replied in an agreeable noise that made Eric laugh.

“I just wanted to let you know that I never thought you were weak. Sometimes you can be a little naïve, but in the best ways,” Eric told his fiancée. “I wanted to tell you that I’m feeling rational again, and not to worry about me doing something stupid. Focus on getting better and healing.”

“Mmm,” Sookie answered, and Eric once again marveled at her ability to express so much with a single syllable.

“I guess that’s all I needed to say,” Eric mumbled after a moment. “I will still send you a letter, though, so don’t worry.” He heard Sookie giggle at his assurance. “I’ll talk to you later. I love you.” He waited for a beat as he could almost feel Sookie trying to reciprocate his declaration.

Soon his patience paid off, and a disjointed, “I love you too,” graced his ears.

Hanging up the phone, Eric turned to flop onto his bed. The young man kept reminding himself that it was only a few more months until they would be married, and he would never have to leave her side again. In fact, Eric was hoping to broach the possibility of Sookie coming to stay at Rosenfont Hall until the wedding. The sooner he could glue himself to her side, the better, in his opinion.

Before Eric could continue contemplating the future he was anticipating, the door opened, and he sat up to greet Alcide. Instead, it was Debbie that stood in the entrance.

“Hey, Eric,” Debbie waved at him merrily.

“Hey, Deb,” Eric flopped back against his mattress once more. “Alcide’s not back yet.”

“Oh,” she gave the room a glance before coming in the rest of the way. “Is it okay if I wait here?”

“Sure, I’m just going to start some studying in a minute,” Eric told her as he mustered up the strength to roll out of bed. Midterms were in two weeks, and he’d been slacking on his studying after everything that had happened around Valentine’s Day.

“How’s Sookie doing?” his roommate’s girlfriend asked with polite curiosity.

“She’s been better, but she’s tough.”

“So did she drop charges?” Eric raised himself up to look at Debbie incredulously. “Oh, Alcide mentioned it. I guess I wasn’t supposed to know about that?” She gave a weak grimace.

Sitting up the rest of the way, Eric finally slid to the floor and reached for his bag. “No, she’s still pressing charges, but it doesn’t really matter if they can’t find him. She’s taking it in stride though.”

“Wow,” Debbie shook her head, “I couldn’t imagine someone doing that to me and not putting their ass in jail as long as humanly possible! I mean, I guess if I was in love with them, that might be the only way.” Eric looked at her annoyedly. “Maybe I should wait for Alcide somewhere else-”

“No,” Eric stopped her from leaving, “tell me what you meant by that.”

Pausing briefly, Debbie shuffled closer to Eric and sat on the floor next to him. “I just meant that I’d only be able to forgive someone for that if I had really deep feelings for them. I wouldn’t let just anyone off the hook if they hurt me like that.”

“Some people are naturally forgiving,” Eric told her. He refused to believe that Sookie had feelings for Bill. When Debbie laughed, he glared at her.

“What? You wanted me to tell you what I meant, didn’t you? It sounds like you’re in denial to me,” Debbie pointed out. “I mean, what do you really know about a girl who can’t have a slip of the tongue? She can’t babble or anything like that. How do you know what she really feels?”

“I know how she feels,” Eric spoke harshly, “because she pushed herself for months just to be able to say it. Can you imagine that, Debbie? Can you comprehend the effort behind overcoming what she’s had to overcome just so she could tell me she loves me? That’s how I know what she really feels. Because she’s told me.”

Grabbing his bag, Eric stood sharply from the floor and stormed out of his dorm. He’d hang in Felipe’s dorm until his roommate’s bitch of a girlfriend finally left. The end of the semester couldn’t come soon enough!

On to Chapter Twenty!

Unspoken Feelings Ch. 18

Chapter Eighteen: Words for You

Gran was raving like a mad woman by the time she got Sookie home and into her own bed.

“-call that school and give them a piece of my mind!” Adele ranted as she fluffed Sookie’s pillow for the twentieth time and stormed out to bring her a third cup of tea. “If you wanted to just drop out and get your GED, I wouldn’t stop you!” Gran continued shouting even as she came in with another mug of steaming, soothing tea.

At least she had given up on trying to find out who had done the attacking. With all the damage, done to her, it was speculated that more than one person had beat her up, but Sookie had refused to give a single name. A war was waging inside the young woman, and she feared her family would do something stupid and drastic if they heard who had beaten her. If only Gran hadn’t stormed in while the cops were taking pictures of my injuries…

Jason was leaning against the door, just out of the way of their rampaging grandmother. He had stared at his sister the past forty-five minutes, trying to think of anyone else who could have done this to her, but his memory was too good. Busted ribs, broken arm, and a face so bruised it was hardly a face anymore…

Pushing away from the wall, Jason left the house and stomped through the valley that divided the two hills that were the pedestals of the Stackhouse and Compton homes. He climbed the crest his best friend since diapers lived atop of, and he rang the bell hoping to find Bill’s hands unblemished.

Old Mr. Compton answered, already reeking of beer, his breath capable of stripping wallpaper.

“Whaya want?” Robert demanded.

“Is Bill here?” Jason asked, unfazed by the drunkard.

“What’s up, Jason?” Bill’s voice came uneasily from behind his father, and Mr. Compton turned to sneer at his son. When Bill came to meet Jason on the porch, Robert slammed the door behind him, grumbling all the way back to the living room. “Hey,” Bill’s voice was subdued.

Jason didn’t say anything at first. Bill’s hands were in his pockets, and the friend was working up the nerve to let accusations fly. Instead, however, Jason let out a sob he’d been holding in the last few hours since finding his sister wandering in the darkness.

“Bill,” Jason choked, making his friend look up in surprise, “someone beat my sister. They beat her up so bad! She won’t tell anyone who did it to her. Even while the cops were taking pictures of all the bruises! I don’t know if it’s ’cause she’s scared, or…” Jason snorted back on the snot building up in his nose. He just wanted a few more minutes with his best friend. Jason just wanted a few more seconds where Bill was the person Jason could turn to. Knowing that the guy he trusted and thought of like a brother had been the one to bring this pain was almost as devastating as seeing his sister bruised and broken.

“It was me,” Bill whispered as Jason’s sobs tugged at what was left of his dying pride.

“I know,” Jason sobbed harder, only moderately relieved that his friend had confessed. “Which means, not only did I have to take my sister to the hospital, but I have to lose my brother, too. I lost my brother over a decade’s old grudge you asshole!” Jason swung out his arm and punched his best friend in the face. “Was it worth it? Was getting back at a five-year-old girl worth losing your best friend?” Bill fell to the ground and stared up at Jason in surprise as his chest was quickly straddled and more blows rained down on him. “Did you think I wouldn’t see all that hurt, all them breaks and not think of you?! I was finally learning some signs, and now Sook can’t sign!” Jason howled as he remembered her struggle to scrawl with her left hand. Since it was quickly fatigued, her statements were as short as the time before the Northmans. Taken over by grief, Jason stopped his assault and just continued to loom over Bill. “She can’t write neither, you asshole! You took what was left of her fucking voice!”

The brother rolled away to sit on the cold grass, holding his head in his hands as he sobbed over everything he’d lost that day. Distantly, a part of him knew that Sookie had lost far more, but at that moment he could overlook that and just weep. Eventually, Jason stood up and pushed away his tears.

“I don’t know why Sookie hasn’t sold you out, but,” Jason glanced down to watch Bill wipe away the blood from his lip, “this time, though, you’d deserve to be told on.”

Bill watched as his best friend, his brother, turned away from him and started heading back to his own house. When he was a few yards away, Bill felt his hopes rise because Jason had stopped and turned to look back.

“Hey, Bill?” Jason called.

“Yeah?” Bill replied hesitantly.

“Congratulations on becoming your father.”

Bill felt his world shatter at Jason’s words.

{†}

As a friendship was falling apart at the Compton house, Eric Northman was arriving at the Stackhouse farm. Godric hadn’t even put the car in park when Eric lunged out of the car and stormed into the house. The younger brother hadn’t been in his own home yet when his sister had run out to tell him that Sookie had been beaten black and blue. Eric had dropped his book bag on the driveway and jumped back in the car with Godric.

Eric ran to his fiancée’s room, passing Gran in the hallway. She gave him a sympathetic look and moved aside to let him pass. When he entered Sookie’s bedroom, Eric tried not to look at her immediately but instead crawled into bed with her. Tucking his head into her shoulder, Eric closed his eyes and tried to think of something to say. Instead, he let out a groan and listened to Godric come in and start talking to Adele. Although he could distinguish the sounds of their voices, their words evaded him.

Sookie turned her head to look at Eric. His eyes were squeezed shut so tight it was almost comical. He reminded her of a child trying to fall asleep on Christmas Eve. She thought about speaking, just one little sound. One little noise beyond an ‘mmm’ would make him feel so much better. Will you cooperate a bit, Brain? She wondered, not feeling the speeding of her heart at the idea of speaking. Sookie had avoided speaking since the inadvertent, “Ja-y,” from earlier. Part of her was worried it had been an involuntary sound. Another part of her wanted Eric to be the first one to hear her speak.

“H-i,” came the softest, most gravely sound from Sookie’s mouth.

“Hi,” Eric choked back before looking up with shock. “Sookie! Did you say ‘hi’!?”

“Mmm,” she smiled just enough not to split her lip back open.

“When? How? Wh-” Sookie placed a finger over his lips to quiet him a moment. The word had come so easily. It felt raw and a little uncomfortable to speak, but it wasn’t hard. Eric looked to see her awkward posture as her right arm was in a cast and wrapped to her chest. Somehow, she still managed to wiggle her left arm free to shush him.

Sookie’s finger left his mouth to touch his chin, and Eric felt his eyes being drawn up to meet hers. He stared at his fiancée’s tightened face. She looked like she was trying to work her mouth free of some sort of glue.

Finally, after a moment, her mouth opened and, “I love you,” tumbled from her lips to speak the sentence they had waited the past year to exchange.

“I love you, too,” Eric gasped as they stared at one another in disbelief. Despite her bruised and swollen face, Eric could see Sookie’s disbelief at managing to speak her first sentence. To look away from her tears and offer a moment for both of them to take in this milestone, Eric leaned in and gently kissed her. Their lips pressed together until they were interrupted.

“Sookie,” Gran intruded gently, “I brought you some soup.” The old woman quickly realized that she had impressed upon a rather significant moment, and she proceeded to silently put the tray and bowl on Sookie’s dresser. Without another word, Adele left the room.

“Were those your first words?” Eric asked softly as they lay in bed, back in their sphere of privacy.

“Mmm,” Sookie nodded. Her brain was still trying to process, accept and enjoy the hurdle she had finally cleared. It hadn’t sounded as garbled as she’d expected. Breathy. Strained. But definitely clear. In a way, Sookie wouldn’t be surprised if she found talking to be physically or even emotionally exhausting, but at that moment, she could only let silent, happy tears trail down her cheeks.

“Does this mean you’ll finally start signing your letters with love?” Eric asked hopefully. When Sookie pointed at her busted arm, Eric frowned. “I don’t mind if your letters are shorter and look like a five-year-old wrote them. As long as they end with ‘Love, Sookie,’ I’ll be happy.”

With another approving, “Mmm,” Sookie nuzzled her forehead against Eric’s crown.

“It’s weird with your head higher than mine,” Eric commented as he began to gently adjust them so Sookie’s head could rest against his chest. The natural formation eased some of his anxiety. “Will you tell me who did this to you?”

Sookie pulled away and studied Eric’s face cautiously. Eric stared right back, waiting for her reply. “Only if you pro-omise not to do anythi-ing about it,” Sookie forced out the longer statement.

“How can you expect me to promise that?!” he demanded in disbelief.

“It wo-on’t ha-appen again,”Sookie told him.

“How can you know that?” Eric asked sharply but immediately regretted it. Sookie looked exhausted, and the extra strain of speaking couldn’t be making it any easier. Regardless, he almost felt himself drawing her out. He almost wanted to fight about it just to keep listening to her breathy voice.

“I just do,” she responded patiently. “Do you pro-omise?” Eric shook his head, trying to convey that he couldn’t promise that. “Then I ha-ave to pro-otect you.” She would have given anything to be able to go turn Bill into the police that very second, but she knew Eric would find a way to get his hands on him first.

Eric took a deep, calming breath, “Okay. You’re right, I can’t handle it right now. I’d go and beat them all bloody once you told me.” Even though Eric had his suspicions, he also had his doubts that one person could have done this. He couldn’t imagine one person could inflict this much damage before they realized what they were doing. Who could possibly hate Sookie that much? It made far more sense that multiple people had attacked and done separate damages simultaneously before realizing they’d gone far beyond their intentions. At least, that’s what Eric wanted to believe.

Sookie flinched when she felt Eric’s lips touch gently against one of her bruises. When Eric pulled away guiltily, she gave him a reassuring smile.

“Did that hurt?” he asked sadly. Sookie shook her head. “Are you sure?” She nodded and with an even gentler touch, his lips grazed the bruised landmarks of her face. Her temple, cheekbone, jaw, and chin all received a remedying kiss that made Sookie smile appreciatively. When the exposed injuries were all kissed, Sookie smiled up at him.

“Why are you here?” she asked suddenly, wondering how he could have arrived so quickly even if Jason had called Eric from the hospital.

“I was already on my way up for Valentine’s Day,” Eric explained. “I bought the tickets in December for a round trip and wanted to surprise you. Godric had class today, so he picked me up at the airport.”

Sookie’s mouth tugged into another tentative smile, “Love you,” she said with such effortlessness now that it made Eric’s heart pound.

“I love you too,” Eric assured while basking in this new experience. Today was the first day someone other than his family had told him that they loved him. He couldn’t bring himself to say that to Sookie, though. She’d feel guilty for not saying or writing it sooner. It wouldn’t matter to her that he felt this moment was well worth waiting for, and that it brought a lightness to an otherwise grim day. “I can’t wait until I get to hear you say ‘I do.’ It can’t come soon enough.”

Sookie reached for the front of Eric’s shirt. Without another word, she leaned in to capture his lips in another kiss. He let her control the pressure and intensity, wanting her to lead and keep from injuring herself further. When she tried to rake her nails under his shirt, however, he pulled away.

“Sookie, are you actually in the mood for sex, or are you revving me up because you think I expect it?” Eric asked, holding her wrist delicately.

“Missed you,” she told him softly, and he could hear the exhaustion and strain in her voice. She was at the end of her strength.

“You missed me?” he asked, and she nodded. “I miss you too, but you’re hurt all over the place. I can see the bruises, and I know your arm is broken but is there anything else?”

Sookie let out a frustrated sigh and softly muttered, “Three cra-acked ribs and a modera-ate concu-ussion.”

“Yeah, we’re definitely not fooling around,” Eric frowned. “Even if you were somehow in the mood, we’re not doing it. Three cracked ribs? What happens when you get excited and start breathing hard?” Sookie hadn’t thought of that. “We’ll just stay here for the weekend. Right here in bed,” Eric told her. “I’ll bring you anything you need, and this will be our Valentine’s Day. All I want in return is as many ‘love yous’ as you can give me in the next 48 hours.”

Sookie smiled at the conditions of their Valentine’s Day weekend. After all, being with him at all was a gift, and as much as she missed the sex, she was grateful to have him there with her. They simply lay in her small bed together, lazily stroking their fingertips over skin and Eric would occasionally tug at the ends of her hair. His tactics were no secret, but Sookie let him lull her into a light doze.

Unfortunately, the reprieve from her exhausting day ended as Jason came into her room followed by Bud Dearborne.

“Sheriff,” Eric greeted in surprise.

“Sookie,” Jason cleared his throat awkwardly, “I was hoping you’d be up to telling Bud, here, who did that to you. I already told him, but I guess he can’t just take my word for it since I wasn’t actually there.”

The sister gave her brother a hard look and realized he had blood on his recently changed shirt. His hands looked a little swollen too.

“Jason,” Sookie hissed, taking both brother and Sheriff by surprise, “what did you do?”

“Oh, I just knocked him around a little bit, Bud said no jury would hold me responsible,” Jason grinned his rakish, stupid grin that drove his sister up the wall. “But, besides that… When the fuck did you start talking!?”

“I thi-ink it’s the concuss-ssion,” Sookie admitted.

“So you could lose it again?” Jason asked worriedly.

Sookie shrugged, “I don’t think so.”

“She’s quite the chatterbox,” Bud commented.

“Just like the good ol’ days,” Jason smiled. “Does it hurt?”

“Sore,” Sookie replied as she pushed her blanket away and began to slide out of bed.

“Where are you going?” Eric asked worriedly.

“To talk to Bud,” Sookie told him. “I don’t want to put our hone-eymoon on hold for our first co-onjugal visit.”

“Uck,” Jason faked gagging as Sookie stepped out of the room with the Sheriff.

“I didn’t think she’d actually do it,” Eric whispered once Sookie was gone.

“Do what?” Jason asked.

“Give the names of the people who did it,” Eric explained.

Jason paused, realizing that Eric had no clue what had happened. “Why’s that?”

“She has a crippling guilt complex,” Eric pointed out. “Haven’t you noticed? She let herself be bullied for years!”

“I guess therapy’s done a lot for her,” Jason considered. “Or maybe you have.”

“That’s nice of you to say, but I’m not so sure,” Eric frowned.

Jason paused a moment before clearing his throat and confessing, “I’m actually pretty serious. I mean, before you and Pam came into her life, Sookie didn’t really say much.”

Eric raised his eyebrows, “Up until this evening, your sister hasn’t said anything.”

“That’s not what I mean…” Jason struggled for a moment to explain. “The notebook she carries? Before you guys, the only thing she wrote in it was answers to teacher’s questions and the occasional shopping request to Gran. I don’t know if she kept diaries or anything, but she never really got anything off her chest.”

“She always seemed so engaged,” Eric hadn’t noticed any lack of socialization from Sookie. She seemed well adept at communicating the way that she did. It had never occurred to Eric that Sookie ever experienced such difficulties holding a conversation.

“Oh, she was always listening,” Jason waved off Eric’s comment. “She was always there, but she never let anyone in before you and Pam. Even Gran was kept an arm’s length away. Maybe it’s because she thought she was a burden, but it was probably because I was such a shit to her before. Whatever the reason, though, you guys coming to town and treating her like a normal person really changed her. You helped me forgive her, and you also helped her forgive herself. Not all at once, but a lot.”

Eric couldn’t help but smile to himself as he listened to Jason sharing these things with him. In a way, Eric hoped that he was good for Sookie. The future husband liked to think that was the truth, but to hear it confirmed was a relief. After years of being unable to connect with a girl, Eric had felt when the moment finally came, he’d be worthless to her. Instead, he found that she complimented his own nature. Where he took action, she tried to keep the peace.

As Eric found himself smiling while thinking of Sookie, her bedroom door began to open, and her face tentatively peeked inside.

“Hey there,” Eric’s smile didn’t falter, but he felt his mood shift from contented to irritated when he was reminded of the brutalization she had endured. That swollen face and single blue eye that could look at him with concern stole most of the tranquility he had found only moments ago.

Sheriff Dearborne followed Sookie back into the room as well to say goodbye, and Eric’s annoyance grew when he was not given the names of Sookie’s attackers. Instead, the Sheriff tipped his hat and left without a further word.

“Didja do it, Sookie?” Jason asked hopefully, and Eric held his breath.

“Mmm,” Sookie nodded and walked gingerly back to bed. Her legs felt weak, and whatever calm she had obtained since the attack, it was seeping away now.

“Are you alright?” Eric asked worriedly as he quickly hopped to her side and helped Sookie recline back onto the bed.

“I think it’s all just hi-itting me now,” Sookie confessed. Jason had to admit she was doing an excellent job of keeping Eric in the dark. If Dearborne could just get Bill into custody, Jason knew that Eric wouldn’t do anything after that. In a way, Bill was better off being caught by himself or the police than being found by Eric. Regardless of what Bill had done, Jason still had a soft spot for his best friend not to murder him. Eric had no such reason to show restraint.

Jason had no doubt in his mind that if given a chance Eric would make sure Bill’s body would never be found.

Clearing his throat to get the couple’s attention, Jason gave a slight wave, “I’ll get out of here and let you guys settle in for the weekend. Sook, just try and stay relaxed. Bud’ll take care of everything,” the brother assured his sister before leaving the room.

“Sookie?” Eric opened his arms for his future bride to curl against him.

“Hmm?”

“Say it again?” he requested quietly, and his fiancée smiled.

“I love you,” she managed to choke one last time before accepting that her throat was well overworked for a single evening.

“I love you, too.”

{†}

The following morning, Eric awoke in Sookie’s bed, mildly confused by his location until he looked at her bruised and swollen face. Anti-inflammatories and ice had only done so much. Sookie would still be unable to open her left eye. Around the corner of her mouth had a trickle of dry blood painted across the puffy skin from a cut reopening in her sleep.

There was only one memory from last night that kept the rage from boiling over once more inside him, and that was remembering Sookie’s declaration of love. Eric wasn’t sure why, of all days, he had to hear those words while she was beaten, but he figured it was so he had something to distract him from murder.

“Mo-orning,” Sookie choked suddenly, making Eric jump. It would take a while for him to get used to hearing her actual voice. He had still been adjusting to her ‘mmm’s and ‘ahs.’

“Good morning,” Eric whispered. “You can still talk!”

“Mmm,” she replied.

“Does your throat hurt?” he asked just as softly as before, wanting to maintain the calm atmosphere.

“Mmm,” she answered affirmatively.

“Do you want me to make you some tea?” Eric began to sit up but was tugged back against the pillow immediately.

“No mo-ore tea,” Sookie told him. She sounded as though she had been standing in a dusty room all day and was still working the debris from her nose and throat.

“Do you want me to get you a pen and paper?” Eric offered despite the desperation he had to keep listening to her strained voice.

“Ah,” she shook her head. “Sca-ared to lose it.”

“Just don’t push too hard, okay?” Eric told her worriedly as he leaned in to give her a gentle kiss.

Sookie nodded in understanding as she took a mental note of how she was feeling. Her ribs ached a little when she breathed in, and her face felt tender when she moved it. Though her arm was broken, it was rather quiet on the pain scale so long as it wasn’t touched or jostled. All in all, Sookie determined the most unpleasant injury was her eye. The pressure from the swelling was pushing against her eye, and a constant headache had persisted since the previous night.

As if her grandmother had felt Sookie’s discomfort, the old woman knocked on the door and entered with a double serving of breakfast and half a Vicodin.

“Tha-anks,” Sookie mumbled as she took the pill first. Before she could chase it with the offered orange juice, though, Gran had dropped the tray all over the couple.

“Gran!” Eric shouted as he tried to stabilize the old woman who had stumbled over. “Are you alright?” he asked as he slipped out of bed, covered in breakfast, and helped the woman sit down in the little rocking chair.

“Sookie? Sookie, did you just speak?” Adele asked in tearful surprise.

“Mmm,” Sookie smiled brightly, causing the tear in her lip to split back open. “I did.”

“Oh, God,” Adele choked as she pushed away from the chair and hugged her granddaughter with a mindful gentleness. “My sweet girl,” Adele cooed as she smoothed Sookie’s hair. “I’m going to see if I can get an extra appointment scheduled for you and Dr. Broadway!” she announced before bustling out of the room and leaving the couple standing and sitting in their breakfast.

“I should strip the bedding before the orange juice soaks into the mattress,” Eric commented. “Why don’t you go take a bath?”

“I’ll wa-ait for you,” Sookie’s smile softened as she rolled out of bed and helped strip the blankets. When the sheets were a pile on the floor, the couple went to the bathroom and slipped out of their sticky clothing.

“No funny business,” Eric warned as he turned on the water. Sookie felt her face protest as it scrunched into a would-be-pout. Watching her fiancé bend over with his perfect butt taunting her was more than enough for her to want to risk further injury. Instead, she followed the rules and didn’t put additional stress into the situation. She knew Eric would blame himself if she felt any pain, and she knew lovemaking couldn’t be painless for her right now.

With the water warm and filling the tub, Eric climbed in first to sit and help Sookie situate herself while keeping her cast dry.

As Sookie stepped into the hot water, Eric couldn’t help but look at the insulting marks all over her body. Bruises and scrapes taunted him, mocking his inability to protect his Sookie. It wasn’t until her body was nestled against his and the water turned off that Eric reclaimed his calm. He focused on washing remaining orange juice from her and maybe paying a little too much attention cleaning between her thighs. It wasn’t his intention to get Sookie riled up, but something in the back of his brain warned that if he denied any interest that would hurt her more than a bit of wishful touching.

“I love you so much,” Eric murmured as he finished washing them both and finally reclined into the water. Though his height made most tubs uncomfortable, or plain, old impossible to relax; Eric found the clawfoot soaker pleasantly accommodating.

“I love you, too,” Sookie whispered, the steam of the bath feeling good on her sore throat. She cleared it experimentally, and more of the tension alleviated.

“How are you feeling?” Eric wondered.

“Surprised,” Sookie confessed, reaching up to stroke his arm that was draped across her chest.

“About?”

“I thought I’d sound stranger,” Sookie confessed.

Eric smiled and gently nuzzled the back of Sookie’s head, “You did speak at one time, Sookie, and you’ve still mouthed words for the last year at least. I’m not surprised that most of the strain is coming from your throat.”

“I suppose,” Sookie considered as she closed her eyes and let the heat sink into her skin and muscles. Though some of her cuts and bruises stung and itched from the excessive warmth, the other effects were welcome.

“Sookie,” Eric’s voice was more hesitant this time.

“Mmm?”

“Was Bill Compton one of the assholes that attacked you yesterday?” Eric asked quietly.

Sookie paused but reasoned that Bill was safely in police custody. “He was the only attacker,” she finally stated. She heard Eric suck in a deep breath from his nose and felt his arms and hands tighten briefly. They quickly relaxed as though Eric had realized he could hurt Sookie further if he lost his temper.

“I’m glad you didn’t tell me at first,” Eric finally found the composure he needed to respond to Sookie’s confession. “I would have walked right over to his house and beat the shit out of him.”

“I know,” Sookie replied, remembering Jason telling her how Eric had smashed Bill’s face into a locker for bullying her before.

“But why didn’t you tell the police right away? Why did the Sheriff have to come out to you?” Eric wondered.

Sookie slowly explained, “I didn’t know what Jason would do.”

Eric’s shoulders relaxed, “I see. You were just waiting for a private moment?”

“But Gran was with me once the cops sho-owed up,” she continued.

“And she would have mentioned it to Jason,” Eric understood at last. “So it had nothing to do with… Thinking you deserved this?” He had to be sure she was past this punching bag mentality.

“I didn’t deserve thi-is,” Sookie choked out. “I deserved to ho-old you this weekend.”

“Yes you did,” Eric agreed as he leaned around to capture her lips in a brief kiss.

Their kiss ended quickly, but silence followed until the water grew cold. Finally, the pair decided to get out of the tub and dry off. When the couple returned to Sookie’s room, the soiled bedding was gone, and the bed had been redressed.

“Gran sure can move,” Eric laughed to himself as he bundled Sookie into a robe and tucked them both back into bed.

“How lo-ong are you sta-aying?” Sookie asked as she snuggled carefully into his side.

“I don’t know,” Eric admitted as he began tugging the ends of her hair. It had become as much of a soothing action to him as it had to Sookie. When she looked up at him in confusion, Eric sighed. “I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to le-eave either, but you ha-ave to,” Sookie smiled.

“I just don’t know how I can go back to school while you’re like this,” Eric told her, his expression pained at the very thought.

“Only a month,” Sookie comforted.

“You’ll still be in a cast when I get home,” Eric frowned, gingerly touching the plaster. “Maybe I could stay a few extra days.”

Sookie thought for a moment, “Co-ome to my therapy session?”

When Eric nodded in agreement, Sookie felt relieved. With any luck, Amelia would be able to put some of Eric’s fears to rest.

TBC

Unspoken Feelings Ch. 17

Chapter Seventeen: Golden Winged Ship

Jan. 12

Dear Eric,

Watching you leave about ripped out my heart. I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. I keep telling myself it’s almost over, but it doesn’t take the ache away. Once again, I have no classes with Pam, and so we only see each other at lunch.

I met Dr. Fant, the therapist Dr. Broadway recommended to me for when I move to New Orleans. She was up here visiting Dr. Broadway, and I was invited to come to meet her as well. Dr. Fant seems nice. She’s older, probably in her late fifties? I don’t know for sure, and it seemed rude to ask. Dr. Fant seems encouraged by my voluntary noises and the fact that I can make multiple vowel sounds. I wondered why I couldn’t manage to form any real words even though I could make sounds. Dr. Fant and Dr. Broadway both seem to think it’s because I still have anxiety over speaking, and once I’ve been on my medication a while longer, I could see more promising results. They said it can take a while for the drug to build up in my system and show its real potential. Dr. Broadway reminded me that I need to celebrate and appreciate all the little things as well as the big things. She said being able to make several distinct sounds is a huge deal, but it still seems like my real goal is the moon’s distance away.

Four more months until I have you back and never have to let go again.

Yours always,

Sookie

Jan. 17

Dear Sookie,

Dr. Broadway is right, this is a huge step forward in the right direction. I can’t say how much it meant to hear you being able to participate in the conversations we have. It may seem like nothing to you, but you express so much in the sounds that you make. Approval, hesitation, joy, displeasure, annoyance… Even with the limits you have, you push them and stretch them to fit your needs the best you can. You’re absolutely amazing, and I’m the luckiest bastard in the world to have such an enduring woman in my life.

By the way, I’ve been looking at some apartment complexes down here, and I think we should come to New Orleans on our way back from England. It would be better to try and snag a place up during what’s left of the summer before the college students start coming back. Of course, there’s still the option of the family dorms on campus, but I haven’t heard great things about them. Also, with my monthly stipend, it feels unfair to take a housing possibility away from someone who really needs it.

Do you know if you’d be able to make another trip down here?

Love always,

Eric

Jan. 23

Dear Eric,

I was thinking about coming to New Orleans instead of going to Prom, but that would be the earliest I can make it down. Gran’s car is in the shop after a run in with a deer, so Jason’s the one stuck shuttling everyone everywhere. Godric’s been a big help too. He drove us all to church last week.

With us spending the summer in England for your semester abroad, I guess we could just catch a plane to New Orleans instead of Shreveport. So whenever it is we get in, we can go apartment hunting. I agree that we shouldn’t take up room in family housing if we can afford to live off campus. Also, if I can find a job down there, it will supplement the stipend you get from your mother’s estate. We’ll need to sit down and talk about our monthly budgets very seriously before we start apartment hunting. Maybe we can do that during your Spring Break.

Everything’s pretty much ready to go for the wedding. The fact we’re keeping it so small and casual is is probably why! It helps that we’ve only got my brother, grandmother, aunt and cousin, and your brother and sister attending. Unless you’ve thought of anyone else, you’d like to invite?

Yours always,

Sookie

Jan. 31

Dear Sookie,

I’ve been thinking about inviting our mom’s lawyer. We’ve known him all our lives, and he’s going to have to come down anyway to sign some legal crap. He really is like an uncle to me, Godric and Pam. His name’s Bobby, and I’d really like for you to meet him.

By the way, I’m getting pretty good at guitar! My chord transitioning is getting really smooth now, and Felipe’s been teaching me some easy songs. There’s the unfortunate side effect of people actually finding me and watching me play now that I’m getting good, though. I hate when people are watching me in my ‘learning phase’, they’re always too encouraging or too easily impressed. It gives me a false sense of accomplishment.

Also, yesterday I was officially approved for my summer program! We’ll be in Sussex!

Love always,

Eric

Feb. 5

Dear Eric,

Sussex? I’ll have to make a visit to the library and start reading about the area. Also, don’t forget to find out what we’ll have to do about our lodgings since your wife will be coming abroad with you. If they have their own dormitories for the summer semester, we might be forced to find our own place off campus, and that probably won’t be included in the tuition.

As for Bobby, if you want to invite him, why not just ask? I’m perfectly happy about it!

I can’t wait to hear you play! You’re so mean for not bringing your guitar home for winter break!

Dr. Broadway brought a speech therapist in on our last session. He won’t be my speech therapist, but all we did was talk about what speech therapy would be like when I finally start. Since I’m still not getting any real words out, Dr. Broadway thinks it’s too premature to begin working with one. I think she doesn’t want me to feel too much pressure about it. I agree, but it was a little disheartening to hear my therapist say I’m not there yet.

Yours always,

Sookie

Feb. 9

Dear Sookie,

I think the thing you should be looking at is that the doctor thinks you’re getting close to a big leap forward. Why else would she start preparing you for the next step if she didn’t sense something on the horizon? Don’t be disheartened, be excited! You’ve come so far, Sookie. I still remember that time at Six Flags, and you made one of your involuntary sounds that we all thought was your first real word. We all thought you’d finally managed to make an affirmative noise, but it was just perfect timing for one of those surprised sounds you used to make. Now you can make sounds that express your intent. I can hear you say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I can hear the question in your ‘mmm’s. You’ve done all of this in less than a year, and that’s huge! Don’t doubt or question how far you’ve come. If you do, I’ll be right here to remind you how amazing you are!

I love you,

Eric

Feb. 13

Dear Eric,

Happy (almost) Valentine’s Day! I wish you were here. Thank you so much for your encouragement in the last letter. I didn’t see any of it like that, and you really helped me understand the truth. I told Dr. Broadway about how the last session really made me feel, and about your interpretation of it. She said you were spot on, and that she’s grateful to you as well. I guess she thought her and I were at a point in our relationship that I’d have a more positive view of her intentions. I feel sorry that she believes I think so little of her. I think very highly of her, and I told her that I apologize for making her think otherwise. I told her it’s me, not her, and she just laughed.

Did I tell you? Pam wants to sew my wedding dress! Since we’re doing such a small, informal ceremony, I wanted a short wedding dress. I want it to feel like a sundress instead of a gown. Pam showed me a sketch of what she had in mind, and I’m really excited about it! Don’t try and sneak a peek at it when you come home for Spring Break, though!

Yours always,

Sookie

{†}

Sookie dropped her most recent letter to Eric in the mailbox before heading up the road. Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day, and she couldn’t help but wish she had planned well enough to leave for New Orleans for the weekend. Instead, she planned to call Eric in his dorm tomorrow morning to at least hear his voice.

Walking toward the bus stop, Sookie was amused to pass Rosenfont Hall and not see Pam. Ever since Godric had taken her car away after her third speeding ticket since the fall, the two of them had ridden the bus together. Sookie was used to Pam running late, but she was getting nervous because she could see Bill coming up the road now. Pam never risked leaving Sookie alone with Bill.

“Sookie!” the girl looked back again to see Godric rolling up the road behind her. “Pam’s feeling really under the weather today, so I called her off school. Want me to drop you off?”

Grateful to be given an exemption to dealing with Bill this morning, Sookie came across to seat herself in the passenger side of the Jeep. The journey to school was short, and when they passed her bus still making its rounds on the way there, she knew she’d be extremely early. I wonder if it will be like when Eric and Jason left school, Sookie considered as she looked down at the unblemished flesh of her arm. The idea of earning new injuries after so many months incident-free didn’t appeal to Sookie.

“Have a good day,” Godric told her as he pulled up alongside the school walkway. Sookie gave him a hesitant smile and agreeable ‘mmm’ before heading toward the school doors.

Most of the morning was the same as it had been for the past few months. Everyone just ignored Sookie. Tara asked for the usual pieces of paper and a pen or pencil. Sookie gave the items without further consideration. Other than that brief interaction, everyone seemed content to leave her be for the day. Until lunch.

Scarfing down her food in hopes of retreating to the library like the days before the Northmans, Sookie barely dared to blink or look away from Bill Compton. She couldn’t ignore the shadows under his eyes, or the way his face tensed when one of his friends clapped his shoulder. Sookie could tell that it had been a long night for Bill at the Compton house.

When Bill glanced her way and caught Sookie staring, the young woman quickly grabbed her tray and walked speedily to the garbage can. Glancing back to the jock table several times, Sookie saw a few as well as Bill rise to throw away their own leftovers. Practically throwing the tray to the lunch lady, Sookie scrambled for the door.

Despite the briskness of her step, Sookie couldn’t hope to out-lengthen the stride of the taller boys. Even Bill, with his significantly shorter gate, managed to catch up to Sookie before she could reach the library doors.

Facing the wall of muscle, Sookie waited nervously to see how bad her day was about to get.

Bill stepped forward, making Sookie shuffle backward. When there was nowhere left to back-up, Bill’s face leaned toward her, stopping mere inches from her own. Involuntarily, Sookie held her breath.

“It’s not so much fun being a little, mute bitch when Jason or that carpet muncher isn’t here, is it?” Bill asked in such a low growl that Sookie couldn’t tell if his friends could hear him. When Sookie’s only response was to swallow the lump in her throat, Bill seemed moderately pleased. “And as soon as your rich boy is done slumming it and wore out your cock warmers, I’ll be there to throw you back to the bottom of the pile where you belong.”

As Bill’s hand raised from his side, Sookie wasn’t sure what his intentions were. Past experiences warned her a slap was coming, though, and she didn’t wait to read his plan. Instead, as Bill raised his hand toward her face, Sookie swung out her fist and struck him with a glancing blow across the throat.

Bill immediately reeled back, clutching at his trachea and gagging. His friends crowded around him, and Sookie escaped to the library while everyone was distracted. For the remainder of the day, she fretted that she’d be turned into the principal’s office, and kept her head buried in her books. When the final bell rang without any more attacks, and no summons to the office, Sookie stared in disbelief at her luck.

Was he too embarrassed to say a girl had hit him? Sookie wondered as she quickly packed up her things and headed for the bus. When she took her seat, Sookie promptly found Bill a few spots behind her. I’ll work on my homework and take my time packing up, so he gets off before me, she planned quickly as she began taking out books and papers. She pretended to work on her homework all the way to the stop, and just as expected, Bill got off the bus before she finished packing her materials. I’ll go to Pam’s house and hang out till Godric gets home and he’ll take me back to the house, Sookie calculated further as she scrambled off the bus and onto the dirt road that lead home.

Sookie stared as Bill Compton walked ahead of her up the road. He’s not going to do anything about this morning? Sookie wondered in surprise. All the while they walked up the road, Sookie could feel her heart in her throat. Every time she tried to swallow, her heart would race harder, her throat would tighten further. It reminded her of the sensation she experienced when she tried to speak. Am I afraid to talk? Amelia had suggested such a thing before, but it wasn’t until this moment that it finally seemed plausible.

Floored by this realization, Sookie’s focus drifted from Bill just as the last sounds of the bus that had brought them there faded into the distance. In that moment of distraction, Sookie only had a split second to react as Bill dropped his bag to the ground, spun around and lunged at her.

Without prior expectations to the sudden chase, Sookie turned off the road and dashed into the open field, trying to shake her own book bag from her shoulders as she ran. The straps dug into her arms even as she attempted to run and slip them off, but Bill’s clawing hand grabbed the bag, yanked it from her back, and sent Sookie sprawling onto the ground.

“P-p-p-” Sookie’s mouth babbled as adrenaline short-circuited her brain. She tried to scramble up, but Bill kicked her in the ribs so hard that she let out a cry that startled both of them. Her shriek only seemed to give Bill a brief pause, because the next thing she knew, his foot was connecting with her body over and over again. Sookie tucked herself into a tight ball, shielding her head and face, but when she was thoroughly bruised and exhausted, Bill turned her onto her back and straddled her chest. His strong arms yanked her weak ones from her face, and he pinned them over her head with one hand while the other repeatedly struck her.

After her face felt like it had turned into a mound of mush, Bill finally stopped hitting her and let out a long, cleansing breath. He stood, towering over her, and stared down at what he had done. She was almost precisely as Bill had envisioned for the past eleven years. There was only one thing he needed.

Walking around her shaking, beaten body, Bill grabbed Sookie by the arm, held it up and placed his foot on her elbow. The scream that erupted from Sookie’s mouth when he kicked the joint inward curdled the young man’s blood. Had I screamed like that? Bill wondered as he reflected back on the beating he’d received from his father that had lead to Bill’s exceptional hatred for Sookie Stackhouse.

With one final look at his work, Bill nodded to himself and left the girl sobbing and broken in the field. Finally, Bill believed he had put someone beneath him. Finally, the son of the town drunk was no longer the weakest. He finally had power over something… But as his house grew closer and thoughts of the beating he had administered filled his head, Bill didn’t feel so strong.

{†}

Get up, Sookie, the girl told herself. Get up. Get up!

But her body was resistant. It hurt everywhere, and the world was shifting strangely as her left eye swelled further shut. The pain in her arm was sending nauseating waves through her body as every heartbeat intensified the sensation. She tried rolling onto her left side to rise, but it had sustained the most damage from the kicks. Sookie didn’t know how long she lay in the field, but the sun was growing more orange. It was getting late.

Your legs are fine, Sookie told herself. Endure it enough to get on your feet, she motivated. Get to Pam. But Pam made her think of Eric. Thoughts of Eric reminded Sookie how much she missed him and wished she could go to him instead of her best friend.

The heartache was motivating, and Sookie rolled onto her stomach with another whimper of pain. From there she was able to push onto her knees and rise. Her right arm hung awkwardly, and the sight made her vomit, but that only made her back and left side explode with more pain. She moaned as the vomiting ended, and finally stood up. She looked away from her damaged arm and hobbled past her book bag. She stumbled toward the road.

I feel away, she thought dazedly as her body and mind separated. Her brain was watching, but her body wasn’t hers anymore. It moved as it needed, it hurt everywhere, but her brain had stopped listening to the pain. Its objective was to get to safety now and acknowledge pain later.

What’s that sound? Sookie wondered. Her head lulled, and her eye that hadn’t swelled shut was filled with light. Headlights.

“Sookie? SOOKIE!”

I know that voice…“J-ay,” her mouth sounded before her brain could protest.

Jason Stackhouse ran to the girl he barely recognized. When he’d turned down the street and seen the shadowed figure swaying to and fro like a zombie, it had sent a shiver down his spine. Now, looking at his battered sister in the full illumination of his truck’s headlights had rage boiling in his stomach.

“Who did this to you?” Jason demanded angrily while his brain scrambled to figure out what the hell to do. “We need to get you home,” he finally decided as he reached out to take Sookie’s hand and guide her to the cab of his truck.

As her broken arm was tugged, whatever fog in her mind that sheltered her from the pain was blown away, and a scream of pain pierced the growing darkness. Jason flinched, his hands wanting to reflexively cover his ears, but instead, he looked at his sister’s arm and realized what had really been done. Her right arm was broken. She couldn’t sign. She couldn’t write. She couldn’t speak.

“C’mon, Sook. We need to get you to the hospital,” Jason choked as he gestured for her to come to the truck. “Get inside,” his voice was a whisper as sobs threatened to overtake him. With gentle, shaking hands, Jason managed to help Sookie get into her seat, and then he ran around to get behind the wheel. He could call the Northmans when he got to the hospital, have Godric pick up Gran and bring her to the ER.

The drive to the hospital was silent, Jason couldn’t even bring himself to put on the radio. He just drove, listening to his sister’s shallow breathing and occasional whimpers of pain.

“It’ll be okay, Sook,” Jason encouraged as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. He came around to help Sookie out of the cab, and they walked together into the brightly lit building.

Bon Temps had a small hospital, and there was usually only a few nurses and single doctor on duty when there wasn’t a big event going on. Tonight was no exception, and the waiting room was blissfully empty. Even as they walked through the door, the nurse at the check-in was already paging a doctor. It was Dawn Green’s father, Elie, that came to greet them.

“What’s going on, Margo?” Dr. Green asked as he came out to the waiting room.

Nurse Margo pointed to Jason and Sookie and Dr. Green came rushing over, “What happened to you, Sookie?”

“Someone beat her bad, Doc,” Jason told him. “She was wandering in the middle of the road when I found her. I think her arm’s broke.”

“Goodness,” Dr. Green tutted sympathetically. “You better go get your grandmother. I’ll start examining your sister.”

“I’ll call my neighbor to bring her,” Jason said. “I don’t wanna leave Sook alone too long.”

“All right, you go do that,” Dr. Green waved dismissively before pulling Sookie away to an examination room.

Jason swallowed hard as he went to the payphone and started making calls.

“Hello?”Pam sounded terrible when she answered the phone. Drowsiness saturated her tone, and congestion distorted it.

“Hey, Pam,” Jason tried to keep his voice even as he spoke to his sister’s best friend. “Is Godric home yet?”

“No, but he should be back in half an hour or so,” Pam replied dully, her voice definitely let on that she was still feeling under the weather.

Jason didn’t want to call back later. “Can you tell him to go pick Gran up and bring her to the ER when he gets home? Sookie’s really hurt, and I don’t wanna leave her.”

“What the fuck!?”Pam yelped. “I’ll go pick her up right now!”

“Wait-”

Unfortunately, any protest he could have made was cut off as Pam hung up on him, and she presumably left to pick up the older woman. Oh well, he thought as he hung up the phone, put in another quarter and dialed a number he’d only bothered memorizing for emergencies.

“Herveaux and Northman residence, how may I direct your call?” a stranger’s voice answered the phone, and Jason assumed it was Eric’s roommate.

“Is Eric there?”

“Nope. He went home to be with his girl for Valentine’s Day. Want me to take a message?” the roommate asked.

“No.” Jason hung up.

{†}

“Well, you came on a good night,” Dr. Green tried to joke as he flashed a light in the one eye that wasn’t swollen shut. “You’re our only guest, which means radiology should be able to see you in no time. Follow my finger with your eye.” Sookie did as she was told. When he was done with that, he listened to her lungs, and the touch of the stethoscope against her ribs made Sookie flinch and yelp in pain. Dr. Green moved her gown a bit and looked at the bruising pattern blooming across her ribs. “Sorry about that, Sookie. Take a breath,” he listened again, more mindful of his touch. When he determined the girl’s lungs were clear, Dr. Green pulled the stethoscope from his ears and looked at Sookie worriedly. “Sookie, I have to ask, are you hurt anywhere else? Do we need to do a rape kit?” he asked gently.

Relief washed over the doctor’s face when Sookie shook her head negatively, and he patted Sookie’s hand comfortingly.

After the examination, Sookie went to radiology, and it was when she was brought back to the exam room that Nurse Margo popped her head in saying that Mrs. Stackhouse had arrived, and did Sookie want her to come into the exam. Sookie didn’t want that at all. She shook her head ‘no.’ I’m back to yes and no conversations, she realized sadly. I’m less talkative than a Magic Eight Ball.

As Sookie waited patiently for the results of her x-rays, misery began to fully envelop her. It might have been a good idea to let Gran come in to be with her. The old woman’s presence might have absorbed some of the enormity of the day. Her arm was broken. She couldn’t sign, and she could barely scrawl a sentence with her left hand; it was so useless to her.

A song came to mind as she sat by herself, lonely, afraid and heartbroken. ‘Because she was crippled for life and couldn’t speak a sound,’Sookie remembered. It was another Jimi Hendrix song. Something about sand castles or something. A song about life not meeting expectations. Or, maybe it’s about life giving you what you yearn for and then slapping it out of your hand, Sookie thought pitifully. In six weeks or so, the breaks in her body would be healed, but if the tingling in her hand was any indication, other afflictions could be felt for years to come.

Just as she was about to let herself be consumed by anger and self-pity, Sookie remembered something significant that had happened only an hour or so ago.

I said, “J-ay.”

For a brief, beautiful moment, Sookie had actually wanted to say something, and it had started to come out. She had wanted to call to her brother, and his name had actually begun to pour from her lips. It was only the first syllable of his name, but it had been uttered on purpose. That sound had been said with intention. It had been more than just a noise. It had been more than an interpretable answer to a close-ended question. It had been her brother’s name.

And so castles made of sand slips into the sea. Eventually.

TBC