Unspoken Feelings Ch. 3

Chapter Three: Stepping Up as a Big Brother

In what felt like no time at all, the Northmans had been residents of Bon Temps for a whole two weeks. Though their popularity was hindered by their association with Sookie, no word ever got back to the silent girl’s ears that they talked about her behind her back. Actually, the exact opposite seemed to happen. Instead, Sookie began hearing things about the Northmans being Sookie’s bodyguards. For the first time in a long time, Sookie felt safe walking from class to class. She hadn’t been body checked into a locker in those two weeks, no one had even slapped her books out of her hands, and that was usually something that occurred multiple times in a single day.

Sookie approached her locker to find two sophomore girls leaning against it having a conversation. The silent girl stood patiently waiting for them to move, even being sure to make a little movement from time to time to be noticed. It was apparent from the beginning that the two girls knew exactly what they were doing, so Sookie shoved herself between them and began putting her combination into her lock.

“Not that you would know what it’s like,” Maudette Pickens, a girl who sometimes tried to hang out with Jason, snarled, “but we were trying to have a conversation here!”

Sookie ignored the girl’s comment and opened her locker to exchange her books for the next class. As she began to lean in, the door swung sharply at her face and struck painfully between her cheekbone and her eye. Sookie jerked back as the eye nearest the strike point immediately watered, and her locker was slammed shut the rest of the way.

“Aw, are you going to cry, Stackhouse?” Maudette’s friend was now taunting. “What does it sound like when a mute girl cries?”

“What the fuck are you doing to my sister?” Sookie looked in surprise at her brother.

“Jason? We were just-” Maudette faltered, confused and concerned by Jason Stackhouse’s sudden interest in his sister’s welfare.

“Fucking off to class?” Jason finished for her.

Both girls fled quickly from the scene of the crime and Jason sighed as he took in the bruise already blooming near Sookie’s right eye.

“You want me to go with you to the nurse?” Jason asked as he gently brushed away the tear tracks from beneath Sookie’s eye.

Shaking her head Sookie mouthed shyly, “No, thanks.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop it,” Jason mumbled.

Sookie gave him a small smile and reached forward to offer his hand a squeeze. When he didn’t recoil from her touch, Sookie felt her heart clench with love and gratefulness.

“Thank you,” she grinned this time. Having Jason accept her touch, her gratitude, was worth a thousand black eyes.

Jason kept an eye out for his sister while she reopened her locker and got her books for her next course. Just as he was about to head to his own class, Eric caught him in the hallway. As the taller teen approached him, looking a bit ruffled, all Jason could think about was that they would be late for class.

“Stackhouse,” Eric greeted the brother of his friend, “I was wondering if you could do me a favor.”

“What’s that?” Jason asked impatiently. He still had to get to the other side of the school for his next course. He usually wouldn’t care, but it was his worst subject and continually threatened to get him booted from the football team.

“I was hoping you could tell me if, Sookie… Might be interested in… Going to Homecoming with me?” Eric asked nervously. Jason stared unblinkingly for several seconds. “What?” Eric demanded, flustered by his rare uncertainty.

“Like… Homecoming as a friend?” Jason asked.

“Yeah. Sure,” Eric fumbled further.

Unsure why Eric was being so cagey, Jason merely shrugged, “Whatever. Go ahead and ask her.”

Eric grinned from ear to ear and ran off to his next class to formulate a plan for asking Sookie to Homecoming, and left Jason to stare dumbfounded after him.

Somehow, Jason was was certain Eric wanted to go to the dance with Sookie as more than just a friend. The quarter back had little time to consider this notion, though, because he finally made it to his own class and settled in for another mind-numbing lecture. He wasn’t sure why, but Mrs. Fleure annoyed the hell out of him. He’d rather have had Mr. Kleever, who was stricter, but a lot more honest about the type of person he was.

Thankfully class ended without a pile of homework, and Jason was grateful to have the weekend free from one more assignment. As he made his way to lunch, he saw Eric’s sister talking animatedly to her brother. Eric looked disappointed.

“-Homecoming together! Won’t it be scandalous?” Pam cackled.

Jason flinched on Eric’s behalf. Apparently Pam had already convinced Sookie to go stag to Homecoming with her. In a way, Jason felt sorry for Eric and Sookie. He wanted Sookie to finally have her first date…

{†}

Pam floated about her bedroom excitedly, running up dresses for herself and Sookie to wear to Homecoming together. She knew it was poor sportsmanship to corner Sookie into a date that she didn’t even know was a date, but in Love, you couldn’t always play by the rules!

“Hey.”

Pam paused in her work to look at her door and find Eric standing there.

“Hey, yourself,” she grinned at him, and Eric felt even worse about what he had come to her room to discuss.

Eric paused a moment as if he were choosing his words very carefully, “So, what kind of dresses did you design for Sookie and yourself?”

Glowing proudly, Pam brandished her sketches at Eric.

“I take it the blue one is Sookie’s, and the pink one is yours?” Eric guessed, a smile tugging his lips though it could not meet his eyes. He knew Sookie would look beautiful in one of Pam’s creations, he just wished she’d be beautiful next to him instead of his sister.

“You got it!” Pam nodded as she went to start pinning the fabric to her dress mannequin.

There was another long pause before her brother finally stated the knowledge that had been plaguing him for weeks, “She’s not gay, Pam.”

“How do you know?” Pam sing-songed, continuing her work as if her brother were not trying to shatter her hopes and dreams.

“Because,” Eric paused. How could he tell her that he knew from the way Sookie blushed when their hands accidentally touched? How could he explain that the way her breathing quickened when she taught him to cast a line was all the proof he needed?

“Because she must be head over heels in love with you?” Pam challenged as she pinned and measured. Yes, Eric thought angrily, but not out of conceitedness. “Just because you’re attracted to her doesn’t make her straight.”

“And just because you are attracted to her doesn’t make her gay!” Eric crossed his arms over his chest in frustration. Sookie had to be straight, otherwise, what was he supposed to do about the fact that the five minutes he stole alone with her on the car ride to her house were the best five minutes of his entire day, every day. Of course, he enjoyed the time he shared with her among classmates and siblings, but in those five minutes, he was the center of her attention. She smiled at him and listened to him. In two weeks he’d spent just over an hour alone with her, and it just wasn’t enough! Five minutes a day, it could never be enough!

“What is going on in here?” Godric came to Pam’s room having heard their shouting from down the hall. The two younger siblings clamped their mouths shut. So far, Eric was the only one in the family that Pam had come out to. Their parents had never known their daughter was a lesbian before their passing, and now Pam was hesitant to let Godric in on the knowledge.

Rather than bring up the whole frustrating situation, Eric stormed out of the room and left Pam to stand awkwardly in front of their older brother.

“Well?” Godric asked, raising his eyebrows expectantly at his sister.

“There’s no sense beating around the bush, I guess,” she grumbled. “I’m a lesbian.”

“Alright,” Godric nodded in acceptance, “is Eric giving you a hard time for that?”

Pam hesitated. She hadn’t expected Godric to explode over her sexual orientation, but she also hadn’t expected such a smooth transition either. Her oldest brother didn’t even hesitate in transferring his baby sister from the straight column to the gay column in his head. “Not exactly,” she sighed. “He’s not picking on me about it or anything, but we’re both… interested in the same girl.”

“Sookie,” Godric guessed immediately.

“Don’t tell me you’re in love with her too!” Pam snapped in annoyance.

Godric laughed, “No, I’m not, but I definitely can see where the attraction hits you two.”

“Can you?” Pam asked, bewildered by the notion her brother could already tell what she was attracted to.

“You see a girl who doesn’t judge and knows what it’s like not to fit in,” Godric replied easily. “Eric sees a girl that could possibly want him for more than his looks. You’re both infatuated with the idea of Sookie for two different reasons, but neither reason is love. That’s fine. Two weeks is early for love, it should be attraction right now, and Sookie– the real Sookie– is not easily known from what I can tell.”

“I convinced Sookie that she and I should go to Homecoming together since I was so new and didn’t really know anyone yet,” Pam confessed. “The truth is, I didn’t want her to go with anyone else.”

“You didn’t want her to go with Eric,” Godric filled in.

“Yeah,” Pam bowed her head contritely.

“Is that because you know that Sookie will never be more than your friend?” Godric asked as he came into the room.

“I just wanted to dance with her. I wanted to know what that felt like before Eric took her,” Pam whispered, her voice growing weaker as the emotion built a wall around her throat.

Her brother came and sat on her bed as Pam stood motionless by her tailoring dummy. “Pamela, just because she won’t fall in love with you doesn’t mean you should ignore the love she can give you. The love of a friend can be strong, and I think you both need it.”

“It’s not fair,” Pam sniffled.

“No, it’s not, but neither is judging someone on something they can’t control,” Godric told her gently. “You wouldn’t want Sookie to stop being your friend just because you’re gay, and you shouldn’t stop being her friend just because she’s straight.”

“Can you tell if Sookie’s straight or not?” Pam asked quietly.

Godric sighed. It was evident that she reacted more out of a desire to his brother than his sister, but there was always the possibility that Sookie was too sheltered to know how to respond to attraction toward a woman. It was a very murky area, and they definitely did not understand Sookie well enough to try and guess at her orientation.

“I don’t know,” he finally replied. “I get the feeling that if given a choice, Sookie would choose Eric, but that could very well be because it would be the socially acceptable choice for this area.”

“So you think I shouldn’t even put up a fight?” Pam demanded with a piercing glare at her brother.

“I’m saying that in this time, and in this place, you are choosing an uphill battle,” Godric explained. “I’m also saying, don’t ruin your friendship fighting for something that might not even be there… And don’t hurt the relationship you have with your brother for the same reasons.”

Pam deflated before Godric’s very eyes. How was she supposed to fix any of this? Even if Eric asked Sookie to Homecoming, she would refuse because she’d already promised to go with Pam. Worse yet, Pam didn’t have any male friends who she could convince to ask her!

{†}

“Hey, Sook, how’s the homework coming?” Jason asked nervously as he looked up from his own books. Sookie raised her hand and shook it in a so-so gesture. Jason smiled. “I- uh, was wondering about Homecoming?”

Sookie looked up at her brother curiously and tilted her head to urge him to continue.

“Eric kinda asked me if it was alright to ask you to the dance.” At Sookie’s comically widening eyes, Jason chuckled. “I guess he was going to ask you at lunch, but Pam already convinced you to go stag with her?” Sookie nodded. “So, I thought maybe I could ask Pam if she’d like to go with me, and Eric can go with you? The four of us could drive there together… Y’know, it doesn’t have to be a romantic date. Just some brothers taking each other’s sisters to a dance…”

Sookie reached for her notebook and quickly scribbled, “Was that all the reason Eric asked if he could go with me?!”

Jason shook his head quickly, “No way. I think he is seriously into you. He was all nervous and shy about asking me, and he doesn’t look like a guy who’s got any problems getting a girl.”

“Really!?” Sookie demanded.

“Yes really,” Jason laughed. “I think you should give it a shot, but don’t let him do anything funny with you!” he ended the conversation sternly.

Sookie beamed at her brother as she crawled across the floor between them in the living room to give him a big hug. When she pulled away, her lips moved to say, “Thank you!”

That night, Jason felt a little restless. He’d be going over to Rosenfont Hall to ask Pam if she’d be interested in going to Homecoming with him. Usually asking a pretty girl out was no big deal for the Bon Temps High School quarterback, but this time a lot more than scoring was at stake. Though, Jason had no interest in trying to land the Northman sister.

Pam was definitely beautiful, but she was not only his sister’s best friend; she was cold. That was the only way Jason could describe Pam. She put on an aura that exuded ‘Keep Away’ even while she was sociable. Maybe it was that the Northman family was worldly, and people from a small town found it intimidating. Perhaps it was that the Northmans were wealthy and refined while the rest of them were just a bunch of backwater hicks. Whatever the reason, Pam was probably not a sure bet to ask out.

All morning, Jason looked at the clock, wondering when it would be a suitable time to walk up the road and talk to Pam. At 9AM, he finally gave into his nerves and put on his shoes.

“Don’t worry, I got all the ammunition I need to free you up for Eric,” Jason patted Sookie’s shoulder as he walked to the front door. “See you in a bit.”

Jason could feel his sister’s eyes watching him all the way up the road until he disappeared around the bend. Once he was officially alone, his worry came back tenfold.

The gate to Rosenfont Hall was open, a sign that the gate was more ornamental than functional at this time. With a few quick strides Jason was up the driveway and leaping the three steps to Rosenfont’s front door to ring the bell. It was Eric who answered.

“Good morning, Stackhouse,” Eric was surprised to see him. “Is everything all right?”

Jason shook his head, “Not really. I was hoping I could see Pam?”

Eric’s brow creased at the request, but he opened the door further, “I’ll go get her if you want to wait in the sitting room?” He gestured to the room off to the right of the foyer. Jason nodded and went to wait in the desert rose-colored room.

Everything in the sitting room was some shade of pink. Gran would have called it mature pink because it lacked the bright candy tones customarily geared toward little girls. The wallpaper was a dull rose color with soft, slate stencils of flowers patterned into vines. The design was subtle but softened the dark walnut paneling that framed the wallpaper.

The furniture was also done in dark walnut and upholstered with more dusty rose patterns. Jason quickly concluded that a woman definitely designed and furnished this room.

“You wanted to see me, Stackhouse?” Jason turned to see Pam entering the sitting room. She was wearing another one of her barely legal short skirts, and a loose white blouse. Even on a Saturday, she wore classy black pumps around the house. Her hair was drawn back into a tight ponytail, and several pencils were sticking out of the point where her hair tie held them securely. Apparently, she had been working on something.

“Listen, your brother asked me yesterday if he could take Sookie to Homecoming,” Jason began. “I guess you asked Sook to go stag with you before Eric could ask my sister.” Pam’s face reddened, but Jason somehow felt that it had nothing to do with embarrassment. She seemed upset. “I was wondering if I could take you to Homecoming so Eric could take Sookie?”

Pam turned to lean casually against the door frame, but Jason was sure it was because Pam wanted to hide her face from him. “Is that what Sookie wants? To go with Eric?” She sounded hurt.

Suddenly Jason realized what all of this was about. Wow, a real, live lesbian!

“You really wanted to go with her too, didn’t you?” Jason asked compassionately.

“And if I did?” Pam snapped defensively.

“Then I’d say, why don’t the four of us go together?” Jason offered. “Eric can have the slow dances. You can have the fast ones.”

Pam looked sharply at her friend’s brother, “What?”

“I hate to rain on your parade, but Sookie is straight as an arrow,” Jason shrugged. “She wouldn’t wanna break your heart over it though.” Pam huffed at the man’s bluntness. “So, do we have a deal?”

“I could have made her happy,” Pam whispered.

“You can still make her happy as her friend,” Jason pointed out.

Pausing for a thoughtful moment, Pam grunted, “You’re not as stupid as I thought.”

“Nah, I’m just an asshole. Nothing stupid ’bout me,” Jason laughed.

“You’re much less of an asshole this week than you were two weeks ago… And all the smarter for it.”

“Gee, thanks,” Jason snorted. “I’ll swing by to let you doll up Sook at five next Saturday. Make sure ya look sexy too. You’ll be escorted by the school’s starting quarterback. You’ll definitely end up in the yearbook!”

“Stackhouse, you’ll hardly be able to keep it in your pants when you see your date on Saturday. But if you don’t keep it in your pants, I’ll cut it off. Got it?” Pam threatened with such a beguiling smile that it was all the more terrifying.

“Loud and clear,” Jason replied without flinching or hesitating.

Pam saw him to the door, and after it was closed, she turned to find her brother watching from the hallway that led to the kitchen.

“Are you happy now? You won,” Pam flung her hand out in a defeated gesture.

Eric walked over to his sister and wrapped her up in his arms, “It was never about winning, Pam. I would feel terrible if I thought you believed the only reason I was interested in Sookie was to take her away from you,” he told her softly.

“I know you’d never do that to me,” Pam murmured into Eric’s chest.

{†}

“All right class,” Dr. Jones calmed down his rowdy anatomy/physiology class. “I know you’re excited about Homecoming tomorrow, but this is your last weekend before research project submissions are due! If anyone needs last minute advice before submitting the framework and experiment, now is your only chance to ask me!”

Sookie raised her hand, sending the class into an abrupt silence.

“Yes, Sookie?” Dr. Jones smiled politely, happy to see Sookie raise her hand rather than brandish her notebook.

“Pam and I,” Sookie mouthed as she took Pam’s hand and shook it.

“You two are partnering up for the research project?” Dr. Jones asked in delight. “That’s great. Now I won’t have to fail you!” Sookie rolled her eyes, and her teacher chuckled to himself. In just under three weeks, one of his favorite students was transforming before his very eyes. She even put up the pretense of speaking! He happily noted at seeing her lips move into more than a frown or apologetic smile.

Sookie handed her teacher the paperwork for the project and gave Pam an encouraging thumbs-up.

“I’m not worried about a thing if you’re the one helping me,” Pam smiled happily at her friend. Sookie felt her heart thrum. No one had ever counted on her before. If anything, most people just expected her to do the work and be grateful to be included…

When class let out, Pam and Sookie walked straight to Eric’s car, having already grabbed all their books before last period. As they stood to wait for their chauffeur, Pam turned to Sookie and suggested that they double check the fitting on Sookie’s dress for tomorrow’s dance. Sookie blushed at the idea of putting on a gown made especially for her but nodded in agreement.

Once afternoon tea had been enjoyed, Pam whisked Sookie up to her room and helped her change into the smooth satin fabric of her blue dress.

“Wow, I’m even better than I thought!” Pam praised herself as she checked the hemline and the seams of the bodice. “This fits you like a glove. I’m getting really good at my measurements!”

Once the dress was fitted and Pam had supplied a lovely pair of white, strappy shoes, Sookie looked at herself in the three different angles of the full-length mirrors and frowned.

“What is it?” Pam asked worriedly. “Do you not like it? I’m sorry, I should have asked for more of your input in what you wanted-”

Sookie held up her hand to stop Pam’s apologies.

“I’ve never danced,” Sookie confessed with a half-hearted pantomime that helped portray what her voiceless words were saying.

“What? Like slow dance?” Pam asked. Sookie nodded. “Oh, that’s easy!” she waved off the girl’s insecurities and skipped over to her CD player. She found a mixed tape of her 80’s power ballads and put it into her CD player’s tape deck.

“It’s not hard at all,” Pam assured as she came to her closet and took out a pair of stilettos that would have almost made her Eric’s height. The way she sauntered in them made Sookie blush. The quiet girl had never seen a woman’s hips move like that! There was no way she’d ever manage. “Don’t worry, you won’t have to wear heels like these! I’m just trying to get to Eric’s height. Besides, think of it like this, you’d have to really try and step on my toes in these,” Pam teased.

Sookie smiled as Pam came closer and took her hands. “So,” she began, “your left hand will go here,” she placed it on her own right shoulder, “and I take your right in my left. My right hand goes here,” she placed it on Sookie’s waist, “and now you’ll just feel me pulling you along. Step to the beat of the music and just follow where you’re led.”

With little effort, Pam was dancing Sookie through her room. She tried a little spin, and Sookie followed it quickly. The girls smiled at one another, but it was only Pam who felt her heart begin to race. Pam was the only one who felt her blood in her cheeks, and the realization made her slow their dance to a halt and take off her shoes.

“See?” Pam recovered smoothly as pain pierced through her heart. “You’ll be fine tomorrow night.”

Sookie took Pam’s hand back in her own, and her friend looked straight into Sookie’s eyes, “Thank you, Pam.”

With a sigh, Pam managed a nod, “See if you can’t get your brother to bring you here earlier than five tomorrow. I want extra time to get you ready for the dance.”

“Okay,” Sookie did the universal “OK” sign.

Pam found herself pondering what Sookie’s voice would actually sound like as she walked her downstairs to the door. “ERIC!” Pam yelled as they came down the stairs. “TAKE SOOKIE HOME!”

“FINE!” Eric shouted back, but he arrived in the foyer so quickly, that Sookie wondered if he hadn’t been waiting with his keys in hand for some time already. “Let’s go, Sookie,” Eric smiled down at her with so much happiness, it took Sookie’s breath away.

Was Jason right? Does he actually like me? She wondered as she followed Eric out the door. They walked together to the car which was already in the driveway rather than sitting in the old stable that had been converted to a garage.

“Are you excited about tomorrow?” Eric asked as he opened Sookie’s door for her. Sookie nodded as she slid into her seat. “Me too. It’s been so long since I danced, it should be interesting.”

“Not a good dancer,” Sookie pointed to herself.

“Don’t worry, I can lead anyone,” Eric laughed as he closed the door and headed to the driver’s side.

Sookie tugged his sleeve when he sat down, and Eric looked at her. “You like dancing?” The way she tilted her head cued him into the question. That was another thing he found wonderful about her. Her expressions left nothing to be doubted. Even if she said nothing, Eric had become familiar with the way her mouth tilted when she was angry, or that quizzical line that formed between her eyebrows when she was puzzling something out. He knew that she smiled when she was sad, but that her eyes grew distant. In such a short amount of time, Sookie had burrowed her way into his musings. It had nothing to do with memorization, and everything to do with captivation.

“When I’m dancing with a beautiful girl I love to dance,” Eric teased with a wink, making Sookie’s face burn red and turn away in embarrassment. He took her moment of shyness as an opportunity to recover from his revelations. “Mom taught all of us how to dance,” he offered. “That’s probably why Pam always ends up leading. We learned from an aggressive instructor,” he laughed.

Sookie smiled as they drove the short distance down the road. She didn’t know why the Northmans were so insistent that they give her a ride. It was only six minutes, and even in the dark, she knew these roads exceptionally well.

“Have you ever slow danced with a man?” Eric asked. He had heard the sharp drum of Pam’s heels coming from her room and could guess from the tempo that there had been an impromptu dance lesson before coming downstairs. Sookie shook her head as they bounced down the road. “The best dance partners are closer to the same height, so don’t be surprised if it feels awkward dancing with me,” he warned. “Just remember, it’s not a ballroom dancing competition. The point is to have fun, not score points.”

Sookie nodded in understanding as they pulled up to her house. She got out and waved to Eric, and he returned the gesture as he watched her skip into her home. Once she was safely inside, he pulled back out of the driveway and returned home. Already he felt his anticipation for the school dance begin to grow.

On to Chapter Four!