Chapter Four: Bullet of Destiny
Eric contemplated the blonde sitting across his desk at Fangtasia. She had called him a little over a week after their run together requesting a meeting with him. Of course, they had spoken every night between their run and now, but this time Sookie made a rather formal request to speak in his office. Eric had to admit he was intrigued.
“What can I do for you, Miss Stackhouse?” Eric asked smoothly, smiling internally while she wiggled in her chair. It was a particular treat to see the normally composed woman so unsettled. There was an approachability to her when she fidgeted.
“I,” Sookie bit her lip while a blush crept across her cheeks, “I’m going to say something rather forward. I hope you’ll understand that this is difficult for me to say, and I ask that you not judge me on the way I phrase it.”
Eric raised his eyebrows, captivated. “Please, continue. The jury has not yet reached their seats.”
Looking at the corner of his desk rather than in his eyes, Sookie said in a quiet voice, “I’d like it very much if you would consider having sex with me.”
“Is that so?” Eric asked, keeping all traces of his surprise hidden. This was not quite how he saw their seduction game going, but he would not complain about her walls dropping sooner than he had anticipated. “And why, pray tell, are you requesting this of me?”
Sookie gave him another delicious squirm. “Vampires are hard for my hyper-perception to read. Their faces give nothing away. It’s easier for me to be around them.”
Eric snorted at that, “I do believe we are beyond pretenses, Miss Stackhouse. You can be forthcoming with me. I know that you are actually a telepath. Apparently your confession means that vampires are silent to your gift?”
The woman stared at him in astonishment. “How did you know about…?”
“With modest difficulty, I will admit. I spent a great deal of time in Bon Temps talking to people who knew you. Of course, it was not until I met your grandmother that I discovered the nature of your gift. Which reminds me; I determined who your hometown murderer was. He will be going to turn himself in to the Sheriff of Bon Temps sometime this week. Your brother will be in the clear shortly.”
Sookie gawked at the vampire for a moment. “You… You cleared my brother?”
“It was only natural I would stumble upon him while glamouring the inhabitants of such a small town,” He shrugged impassively. “Now, if I could divert your attention back to your request..?” he asked hopefully.
“Oh,” Sookie blushed again, “well, vampire minds are silent. I think it would be nice to have sex with one… You’re the only male vampire I’ve come to know at all. I thought… I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask.”
“Quite the opposite of hurt,” he agreed. “Am I permitted to sample you while I fulfill your request? You know, I would hate to make you feel like you used me,” he alluded to her views on feeding from their very first conversation.
“I guess I could do that. I have a few rules about it though,” she told him.
“I am always up for negotiations,” he waved for her to go ahead.
“Don’t bite me anywhere someone could see, and don’t take so much blood that it will leave me weak for work.”
“Extremely responsible circumstances,” he nodded approvingly. “Now, when, where, and how often would you like me to fuck you?” The vampire did not miss the way her body responded to the word ‘fuck’. He watched as her eyes dilated, nipples hardened and thighs clenched.
“Er… How often?” she asked with confusion that fumbled from behind the fog of lust.
“You did not wish to make an arrangement out of it?”
“I thought you only made arrangements with people you’d want to keep around.”
“You think I would just let you go once I have had you?” he asked in surprise. “You did not strike me as the type with low self-esteem.”
“I’m not very good in bed,” she admitted, chagrinned.
“I seriously doubt that,” he laughed.
Sookie sighed, realizing she should warn him. “I don’t have any experience. I can hardly masturbate properly.”
Eric’s eyebrows rose infinitesimally again. “You are a virgin?”
“I understand if that changes your mind about agreeing to my request,” Sookie mumbled.
“Oh no, I am certainly going to take you up on your offer,” he assured. “I do have a few questions for you though.”
“What would you say about me training you?” It was Sookie’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “Perhaps that was a rather intimidating word. It makes it sound like you would be a pet or something. Let me try again,” He cleared his throat, rearranging his words. “What would you say to me teaching you about your body, and along the way, you learn about mine?”
Sookie played with her hair girlishly as she stared at the strands to avoid looking at him. “I-I can stop whenever I want, right?”
“Of course. This is an arrangement between two consenting adults, after all.”
“Would I have to do anything weird?”
“First,” he chuckled, “define weird. Secondly, you do not have to do anything. I might suggest something outside your realm of comfort, but I will never do it to you without your consent. Just be careful if you ever use the phrase ‘surprise me’.”
“I guess I’ll have to tell you if something’s weird when you ask me about it. Although there may be times I might have to ask what it is you’re asking me to do,” she admitted. “Can you just not put anything up my butt?” she mumbled shyly.
Eric tilted his head curiously, “A virgin and already frightened of anal sex?”
“I’m a little frightened of everything related to sex,” she confessed.
“Why is that?”
Sookie shrugged weakly, “I’m a telepath. I’ve seen scary, horrible things. I’ve seen people remembering doing stuff they didn’t want to do, but doing it anyway because they were afraid of being abandoned.”
“I see,” Eric frowned. “Well, I will not abandon you. If our arrangement needs to end, you will be well notified.”
“Okay,” she murmured, rising from her chair.
“Where are you going?” he asked at her sudden urge for departure.
“Er… I thought that was the end of the meeting..?”
Eric rose from his chair, came to her side, and took Sookie’s hand in his. “Would you mind very much if I took a brief tour? I would be greatly interested in preparing myself for our future encounters.”
“I-I guess that’s okay,” she whispered, a fresh wave of blood blossoming under her cheeks.
“Would you prefer me to examine you on the desk or the couch?” he asked, gesturing to the two pieces of furniture.
“E-examine?” she whispered, though it sounded more like a squeak at an octave higher.
At her terrified voice, Eric smiled. Apparently her nerves had destroyed their game of formality. “I want to see your body, and test your sensitivity,” he explained. Placing his hands at the top button of her blouse, he asked, “May I?”
“Y-yes,” she whispered, turning her face away as he began to unbutton her blouse.
“Do not look away, Miss Stackhouse,” Eric chastised gently. “You asked for me, now do not make me feel as though I am taking what has not been offered.”
Sookie brought her gaze back to the vampire before her, concentrating on her breathing, not the hungry, blue gaze that was consuming every inch of flesh he was exposing.
Once her shirt was open, Eric pushed it from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. Next, he knelt before her, untying her shoe laces and slipping the boots from her feet along with her socks. When he rose back up to his feet, he unbuttoned and unzipped the fly of her jeans before pushing them off her hips, and then down her legs where she shakily stepped out of them.
“Go sit on the couch,” he instructed as he left her side and went to lock his office door. Before joining her on the leather couch, he went to his desk and paged Pam. “I will be busy for the time being. Do not interrupt me for anything until I page you again.”
“Yes, Master,” Pam’s voice responded quickly, and Eric disengaged the intercom before turning back to Sookie.
“Now, Miss Stackhouse, where were we?” He sauntered over to the sofa and kneeled down in front of her legs. Sookie was surprised to find that their faces were level in this position.
“Umm,” she mumbled, trying to force herself to maintain eye contact.
“Tell me what sort of physical relationships you have had.”
“None really,” she told him shyly.
“Have you been kissed before?”
“No,” she breathed.
“Not at all?”
“Just family. On the cheek or forehead,” she elaborated.
“Then no one has touched you here either,” he placed a hand over her breast, making her breath hitch, “except you?”
Sookie could only nod.
“Are they sensitive?” he asked, squeezing her gently and finding her nipple quickly hardening beneath his palm. When he pinched the bud Sookie let out a soft sound, encouraging him to pinch a bit harder and earning a wail. “Quite sensitive,” he murmured to himself. “Are you ticklish?” he asked, ghosting his fingertips down her ribs and earning a wriggle. “A little bit, it seems.”
“Eric,” she groaned his name.
“What are you doing to me?” she panted.
“I am merely learning the very basics of your body. Why? What is this doing to you?” he asked quietly.
“It’s making me very wet,” she admitted.
“Oh?” He could smell her arousal, yet it was hardly permeating the air. Reaching between her thighs, he ran his thumb over her panties between her nether lips. He felt Sookie’s body go rigid as if resisting the urge to wriggle away. Frowning at the lackluster amount of heat he found, his thumb circumnavigated the elastic of her panties and dipped between her folds earning a sharp gasp and small shimmy. Her arousal was only just starting. “This is ‘very wet’?” he asked in veiled concern.
“Mmm hmm,” she whimpered.
“Oh, Miss Stackhouse, do you not know your own body at all?”
“What do you mean?” she gasped as his thumb gathered some of her moisture and glided against her clit.
“This is a very early stage of arousal, a stage that can be met merely by encountering someone you desire. Do you feel the urge to pleasure yourself when you are only this excited?”
“Very much,” She jerked when his thumb flicked her clit again, forcing a soft cry from her mouth.
“It is not all that surprising that you have trouble making yourself climax if you are going full throttle with such underwhelming preparation. I expect your orgasms are not very satisfying.”
“Not at all,” she agreed.
“Do you want me to give you a satisfying orgasm?” he asked carefully.
“Y-yes please!” she gasped.
Eric’s hand slipped from her panties and grabbed her hips to pull her to the edge of the couch. When her back left the cushion, he reached up to unhook her bra, spilling the plentiful bounty of her bosom. Instinctively, Sookie crossed her arms over her chest, but Eric’s hands halted the action.
“You do not need to hide, Sookie. You are beautiful. Your breasts are mouthwatering,” Biting her lip once again as her blush migrated down her neck, Sookie let her arms drop rigidly to her side. “Lift your bottom,” he instructed so he could remove her panties. She obliged slowly, trying her hardest to rein in her modesty.
“C-Can you…” her request trailed off.
“Can I what, Sookie?” he asked gently.
“Umm, can you take off your shirt? I feel underdressed.”
“I can remove it all if you want me to even the playing field,” he offered.
“J-just your shirt will be fine.”
Eric tilted his head curiously at her before asking, “Are you afraid of my cock, Sookie?” Her eyes darted away as she hid her face behind a veil of hair. “Hmm,” he hummed thoughtfully, “this is rather disconcerting. Why are you scared of what you want?”
In a moment of complete clarity and honesty, Sookie replied, “Most of the things I want end up hurting me.”
“I see,” Eric murmured to himself. “What is something you wanted that hurt you?”
“So is this,” he pointed out, rubbing her thigh.
“It’s just sex.”
“Not for you.”
Sookie stared at him, wide-eyed and vulnerable. “D-does that mean our arrangement won’t work?”
“No, our arrangement will work just fine, but I will have to temper my attitude about it.”
“How do you mean?”
Smiling at her, he explained, “I mean that your needs will be in a rather turbulent state of fluctuation. You do not know what you want or need, and as you discover those things, I will need to fill those wants and needs, and then later abandon them as they no longer apply. There will be times when you will demand my attention and cling to me. There might be times when you want very little to do with me. Eventually your wants and needs will become more concrete, and we can fall into a much more discernible pattern.”
“I don’t understand,” she admitted with a wary shake of her head.
“Do not preoccupy yourself with it. Just keep me privy to what does and does not work for you. Remember, I know what I am doing, and I have already accepted the responsibility of teaching you. Where these lessons lead us should not be a burden.”
“Okay,” she said hesitantly.
“Now,” Eric grinned up at her, “shall I continue your first lesson?”
“I’m not really turned on anymore,” she mumbled.
“Do not worry, Lover,” Eric purred, removing his shirt, “I can get you back there in a moment.” Reaching for her face, the vampire brought her mouth to his in a soft kiss. After a moment, he brushed his tongue against her lower lip and Sookie pressed eagerly against his tongue. “Just mirror me,” he encouraged before tracing her lip again. When Sookie’s tongue poked out, he quickly tangled it with his own until he was chasing it back into her mouth. He explored the hot cavern, sweeping and coaxing her tongue to dance with his.
Eventually he pulled away to allow her room to breathe, but kept kissing along her jaw to her throat. He felt her pulse quicken as he lightly suckled the skin protecting her carotid, nibbling with his blunt teeth before moving towards her breasts.
His right hand took possession of her left breast as his mouth claimed the right. He squeezed, suckled, nuzzled, and pinched the impressive globes until Sookie panted under his ministrations. The scent of her arousal perfumed the air around him, and Eric murmured against her skin, “This is being turned on, but your pussy can get much wetter.”
Sookie moaned at his words, arching into his mouth and hand. She could feel her body slide against the leather of his couch while her hips tilted; surprised that she was actually producing enough lubrication to achieve this.
“Eric,” she gasped when he gave a slightly harder tug with his teeth on her nipple.
Switching breasts, his left hand took her right breast and his mouth took the left, repeating the ministrations on the twin. By the time he began kissing down her torso, the woman’s hips were rocking in anticipation.
“Do you usually move your hips when you masturbate?” Eric asked curiously.
“No, that’s new,” she whispered heatedly.
Eric chuckled as he let his tongue dip into the well of her bellybutton. He continued kissing down her body before diverting to her thigh. Similar to her breasts, one hand massaged a thigh while his mouth nibbled and kissed the other before switching sides again. When he spread them wide, he was greeted by the sight of her weeping sex.
“Oh yes,” he hissed passionately, “that is a hungry pussy.” His thumb ran up and down her gash, the sound of her sticky fluids noisily kissing his digit. “Do you hear that, Lover?” he asked, continuing to illicit the sound of smacking lips from her folds.
“Uh huh,” she moaned affirmatively.
“That is the sound of a pussy that wants to be touched,” She whimpered as his finger dipped inside of her hole, and keened when it curled within her. “Hmm,” he kissed the inside of her thigh as he hummed thoughtfully to himself again, “you are remarkably intact for a woman your age.”
“Intact?” she panted as he rocked his finger inside of her.
“Your hymen, Lover. Have you never put anything in here?” he asked, still moving his hand and nibbling her thigh between conversations.
“Just tampons,” she told him, her fingers trying to find purchase on the smooth leather of the couch.
“Not even your fingers?” he asked in surprise.
“I tried that once, but it hurt.”
“Does this hurt?”
“NO!” she arched as she assured him. “It feels really good.”
“Did you use any lubrication?”
“Just some spit.”
Eric chuckled at that. “You probably were not wet enough to make it feel good like this,” he explained. “Now, how about I give you that real orgasm I promised?”
Sookie whimpered, “Yes, please,” nodding her head jerkily in anticipation. She felt ready to explode at any moment, never having been so easily on the cusp of orgasm before. Normally she was rubbing herself frantically to get anywhere near this close. Now she lingered on the edge, body primed, and showing no signs of dissolving away from arousal.
Enveloping her clit with his lips, Eric flicked his tongue softly against the swollen nub, making Sookie’s hips twitch with every caress. Flattening his tongue and taking all encompassing laps at the pleasure point, he tried to slide a second finger into her channel and was delighted to find her tightness attempting to reject his advances. Still, her body succumbed like it should and a second digit was soon slipping inside of her.
“Umm, umm,” Sookie whimpered, sounding apprehensive. Eric’s eyes darted to meet hers, and he could see the surprise and fear across her face.
“You can cum, Sookie,” he encouraged. “Do not be afraid of it.”
His mouth descended to her sex again and he increased his tempo marginally, forcing the woman off the ledge from where she herself could not jump. Her response was awe-inspiring. Her hands clutched his hair, her back arched like a bow, and the most delicious scream rang from her throat as her inner walls tried to crush his fingers. As her climax reached its crescendo, Eric turned his mouth against her thigh and punctured it with his fangs to draw a sweet mouthful of crimson elixir.
At the bite, Eric felt her orgasm recycle, and another cry tore past her lips. Licking the wound he had inflicted, Eric pondered the flavor of her blood while resisting the urge to sneak another sample. In his thousand years, he had never met a human who tasted so delicate, sweet, soft, and mildly intoxicating. Nothing as intense as the Fae, but certainly a delicacy.
As Sookie slumped against the couch attempting to catch her breath, Eric rose from his knees and lifted her enough so he could place her head in his lap and comb the fingers of his free hand through her hair while licking his other hand clean.
A flavor such as hers was covetable. Every instinct of the vampire in him wanted nothing more than to keep her for himself and be the only creature to ever enjoy her splendor, not just the fine quality of her blood, but her responsive body as well.
“I wish to make some additional adjustments to our agreement,” Eric murmured when her breathing had calmed.
“Oh,” Sookie’s body tightened guardedly, covering herself the best she could with her arms and legs, “did you change your mind?”
Eric looked at her in surprise, “Not at all, I only wish to make some conditions.”
“After that, I’m open to negotiations that let me have it again,” she smirked to herself as she nuzzled against his thigh.
“I wish for you not to allow another to touch you, and by granting me that, I will extend the same courtesy. I will only fuck and feed from you so long as our arrangement is active,” It was a modest sacrifice for him, but one entirely worth making to keep her just for him.
“So we’d be monogamous friends with benefits?” Sookie asked, making Eric laugh.
“Yes, something like that.”
“I can agree to that,” she whispered. “Is that a thing? Monogamous friends with benefits, that is?”
Eric thought for a moment. “Actually, I believe this is called a ‘relationship’,” he laughed. “A superficial one, but still a relationship.”
Sookie nodded in understanding. “I think that’s all I’ll really want anyway.”
“Why is that?” Eric asked curiously, twirling a lock of hair around his finger. He did not believe her resolve for a moment. She was too inexperienced to realize how unlikely it would be for her to keep her heart out of their relationship, an unlikelihood that Eric was banking on.
“Because it will hurt less when it ends.”
“What is this preoccupation with things ending?” Eric frowned.
“Everything ends, you know.”
“Sometimes things become more. An aspect of a situation can end without the entirety being lost.”
“I’m just used to being left behind,” she told him.
“I see,” was his reply.
Sookie looked around the room at her scattered clothes and asked, “Were you going to have sex with me tonight?”
“No,” Eric smiled, “I think I will save that for an evening where you do not work the following day. I would hate to overexert you before you return to upholding the law.”
“Oh, well, when crime happens, I’m working,” Sookie told him. “Mostly, though, weekends are the only safe bet I have at not being in the precinct.”
“What made you want to be a police detective, Sookie?”
The woman’s body tensed momentarily before she shrugged, “I wanted to protect people.”
“That sounds like a PR response.”
Sookie sighed and sat up, raising her head from his lap. The look in her eyes was enough warning before she gave a verbal one. “Are you sure you want to go down this road, Northman?” The inquiry might have been imposing if she had not been stark naked.
“Knowing you is very important to me, Miss Stackhouse.”
Turning her head away, Sookie spoke to the wall. “My great uncle was sexually abusing my cousin from the time she was three years old until she was nine. I was seven when I found out. I didn’t know what I was seeing back then. Her head was all confused and scared. All I knew was he was hurting the girl who was like a big sister to me. I told him to leave Hadley alone, to stop hurting her. He hit me and said if I ever told anyone about Hadley, he’d do much worse to me than he ever did to her. That night he raped and beat Hadley right in front of me just to make his point. I told our Gran. She called the police on him, and when they searched his house they found all kinds of terrible things. Tapes of him raping Hadley, pictures of other kids. Pictures of Hadley’s mother when she was a girl…” Sookie shook her head to dispel the memory. “I realized then that I had the power to help people. It was my duty to put my quirk to good use, the best use I could.” Placing her chin in her hands, she said, “Hadley ran away when she was thirteen. We never saw her again.”
Eric was quiet a moment before he asked, “Do you enjoy what you do?”
Sookie thought for a moment, “It’s all I really ever knew I wanted to do.”
“But not for yourself,” he did not ask.
“What’s the difference?”
Eric’s eyes widened at the question. “Lover, it makes you miserable!”
“Sometimes Destiny is a bullet. It has a sure line, predetermined, destroying anything that comes in its path to get to its target. I was born a Bullet of Destiny. My life was decided when I found a purpose for all of the insanity around me.” She held out her hand, counting off the holy trinity that carved the path for her career choice, “The insanity of my quirk. The insanity of my overwhelming losses. The insanity of my uncle and cousin… This destiny I’ve been fired through is the only true certainty I’ve ever known, so what is the difference between what my telepathy has aimed me toward, and what I may have wanted if I did not have my telepathy? It’s a pointless effort to yearn for things that will never be within your reach.”
“Does it have any appeal to you whatsoever?” he pressed.
“I save lives with my quirk.”
“At what cost to you?”
“I don’t understand what you mean,” she admitted.
“Sookie, you look into the minds of some of the most disturbed and violent humans. You see their crimes from their perspectives every day. You do not see how damaging it can be?”
“I guess I’ve always ignored it.”
“Ignored it!” he rasped in disbelief. “Sookie, by the things I have learned from you tonight, you are anything but ignorant, except about yourself. At the age of seven you witnessed the inner workings of a pedophile and his abuse of your cousin. Today you are terrified of sex. That was nearly twenty years ago. You speak of things only ending, never beginning or lasting. This life is sucking you dry. You are terrified to want, terrified to live.”
“Those are the things I know, Eric,” she whispered. “I know abandonment, disloyalty, death, violence… I only have one lasting scrap of unconditional love, and that’s my Gran. She’s eighty-three, Eric, and she will die someday, and I will finally be always alone.”
Rising from the couch, Sookie went about the office, finding her clothes and redressing herself. Once she had her shoes on, Sookie reached for the door and unlocked it. Before departing she murmured, “Hopefully I haven’t sent you running. I had a good time tonight, and I still want to have that relationship we talked about.” With that, she left his office.
Eric watched the woman leave, and all he could see was a broken little girl who had glued the pieces of her life back together into a warped, semi-functioning heap. As that broken life crumbled from its adhesive, she could not even manage to leave the debris behind; she merely picked it up and continued carrying her burden.
So unassuming and cautious.
So fierce in accepting her fate.
So, so broken.
In an instant, Eric wanted to make everything better for her. He wanted to show her that she would never be alone. He wanted to prove that some things did not have to end.
Picking up his phone, Eric left a quick message for his dayman, and then sat down in his office chair.
Eric thought for a moment.
Sookie was strong-willed, calculating, isolated, and completely oblivious to the fact that she was worthy of anything. She was like an island rich with natural resources that she allowed to be stripped away by visitors, and gladly consented to being made barren by their greed so long as she believed that they were helped by her sacrifice.
What was worse! She endured constant psychological abuse and did not even recognize it! She had turned herself into the world’s punching bag, and could not even admit that it was a strain upon her!
Her duality was mind boggling. Intense and sharp-tongued one moment, and then self-conscious and hesitant the next. Eric noticed, however, that the second part was only common when she was the topic or subject under discussion.
Eric considered how to help her see that she deserved far better than she believed. He considered the relationship he was starting, knowing it was far less than he wished it to be. Though he knew that she would come to the realization that she could not separate sex from love at some point, Eric found himself quite impatient for that time to come.
There was the added bonus of Sookie potentially rejecting her feelings for him out of blind fear and insecurity. She had spent so many years building her impenetrable walls, and Eric knew that he could not just come barreling through her blockade. Not only did he need to keep her from panicking and turning from him, he also had to find a way that she would be comfortable and at ease with him.
The questions were now, ‘How do I get her to accept me?’ and ‘How do I become someone acceptable?’